A Bazillion Trillion Dollars

You may or may not be aware that there is a $500,000,000+ Powerball jackpot up for grabs.

Now, I haven't purchased any kind of lottery ticket since my 18th birthday, but I'm seriously considering getting a Powerball ticket today. Mainly just for fun.

$500 MILLION dollars is so much money that, to me, it might as well be Eleventy Bazillion Trillion dollars. I don't think I could spend that much money if I tried.

Here are a few things I could think of doing if I had that much money:

• Buying Chris his dream sailboat.
• Making sure all my parental units and Chris's parental units could retire comfortably.
• Giving each of my siblings and Chris's siblings dollarz.
• Opening a rabbit rescue- Ryan's Rabbit Rescue. Then I could save all the buns!
• Starting my own kickass coffee shop/music venue.
• Learning Italian... in Italy!
• Building us a medium-sized dream home on the water somewhere.
• Going on a year-long worldwide adventure/vacation.
• Hiring a personal trainer.
• Starting a fine wine collection.

What would you do with that much money? 

I Voted!

This morning, Chris and I got up at 6:00. Most days, we get up between 8 and 8:30. But today is not most days. Today, as I'm sure your TV, radio, social media, and other people's yards wouldn't let you forget, is election day. We were both very excited to vote, so we decided to get up super early, get in line, make our selections, push the magic button, and then go out to breakfast together to celebrate.

I hope you all got out there and cast your votes. Cuz if you didn't, I don't want to hear any complaints out of you. For the next four years. Seriously.

I've got my fingers and toes crossed for President Obama, and I'm sure you're not surprised by that. In fact, Mitt Romney scares the bajeezus out of me (and my uterus). So, I've had the election day jitters. I've been reading quotes by Susan B. Anthony to keep myself feeling inspired instead of terrified. But, I must say, there is a big part of me that simply can't wait for it all to be over. I received a total of 9 calls over the past two days that were election-related, and I feel a little bit like this girl.

We are currently sipping beer and eating chocolate and watching NBC's election coverage. Anyways, to help keep the mood light, I decided to make up some of my own Election Coverage Drinking Games (let it be known that we are actually not playing these tonight):

For those of you who would like to end the night in a pool of your own vomit:

• Drink every time you hear the phrase "swing state."
• Drink every time you see a white male.
• Drink every time a state turns red or blue.
• Drink every time you hear the word "battleground."
• Drink every time you're frightened for your candidate's chances of winning.
• Drink every time you hear the word "Florida."

For those of you who wish to avoid getting drunk:

• Drink every time a female candidate is mentioned.
• Drink every time a non-white candidate (other than President Obama!) is mentioned.
• Drink every time an independent wins an electoral vote or votes, or a race for a position in Congress.
• Drink every time you see a man wearing a tie that is not hideous.

I guess I'll see you on the other side!

OMG Weddingz

I haven't written much about my upcoming wedding, have I? I'm not sure exactly why that is. Perhaps because I've found that no one really wants to hear about your wedding planning (exceptions: Other engaged people and your mom). Perhaps there is part of me that considers it to be a private subject (oh, who am I kidding?). I think maybe it's more likely because life has been in a state of upheaval for an extended period of time.

But I've been pretty focused on (and freaking out about) wedding stuffz this past week. We already have some of the big important stuff taken care of:

• Venue? Check.
• Caterer? (BBQ!) Check.
• Dress? (Eeeee, not telling you about it) Check.
• Shoes? (UPS expected delivery date: Monday) Check.
• Wedding rings? (Ooooh, shiny) Check.
• Save the Dates (Sent out!) Check.
• Celebrant? Check-a-roonie!
• Registries? Started them. So a half-check there.

But, right now I'm freaking out about the following:

• Photography. I know that people have to make a living doing this, and that there is a lot of effort put in to editing, etc after the hours spent taking pictures, and I truly believe that talent and skill should be paid for, but holy crap! Wedding photography costs more than a year's worth of car payments for me. Not sure what we're going to do about this.
• Cake. Cupcakes, actually. I'm going to tasting soon to see about the sweet stuff. If I had my way though, we'd have wedding ice cream, not wedding cakes...
• Hotel Rooms. We're going to have quite a few people coming from out of the area (we hope!). So we have to block rooms (and I'd prefer to do it sooner rather than later). What if I pick a hotel that is close and has great group rates, but when my family all gets there, turns out to be a hole? What if they run out of rooms before everyone has made their reservations? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
• Menswear. Guys, I love Chris so much. But, if he had his way, he'd be wearing cargo shorts and crocs and possibly his Mountain Dew hat on our wedding day. So I have a feeling I'm going to have to take point on the clothes for him and his groomsmen. Problem is, I know zero about men's clothing. And the groom looks that I tend to like, Chris doesn't. Oy.
• The guest list. I know this so cliche, but seriously, this is stressing me out. We're already over the number we want to have, and it seems like people are finding new significant others, etc by the day, adding even more. Stop it! 

Anyways, the other most recent exciting thing is that my mom is throwing us an engagement party. I can't wait for this. I kind of feel like the "yay, we're getting married!" steam has faded a bit of late, as we've both been busy, dealing with the loss of Coltrane, and trying to figure out some other big life decisions. I think the engagement party is the perfect excuse to be all kindsa focused on the whole pledging-to-be-together-forever thing.

So yeah, there's your dose of wedding-related blogging. I'm sure there will be more to come, but I promise not to hit you over the head with it.

On Grief and the Grocery Store

It has been 6 days since I had to put Coltrane down, and, so far, I've been alternating between the two stages of grief:

1. Pain
2. More Pain

The pain has been hitting me hard (kind of like a punch in the stomach) at the most random and sometimes inopportune times. Other times, people I'm talking to seem to be expecting me to lose it, but then I just don't.  And I don't know why.

For example, this past weekend, Chris and I played a duo show at a fall festival to raise money for a local no-kill animal shelter. I was dreading this, as I figured I'd lose it as soon as I saw the cute animals. But, for some reason, I was ok. We saw cute doggies, I pet a pony on the nose, and still, I was alright. A fellow musician and friend was saying how sorry she was about Coltrane, and somehow I could talk about what happened without crying (though I think she expected me to start, which is pretty reasonable). So yeah, I was fine. That is, until we left. I cried in the car on the way home. Don't know why.

The most unexpected thing that set me off was going to the grocery store on Sunday evening. Chris and I split up to cover more ground... I was to go to the produce section to get zucchini and garlic and bananas. As soon as I walked into that part of the store, there was that familiar punch in the stomach as I realized that I would no longer be buying large amounts of lettuce and fresh herbs for my bunny boy to happily munch on. Now there's no reason for me to have all the SKU #'s for all the types of lettuce and cilantro and parsley memorized. Now I don't need to stop at the grocery store three times a week.

I did my best to keep it together as we continued to shop... and I think I probably came off as extraordinarily grumpy, but as soon as we walked outside I totally lost it and ugly-cried all the way home.

I keep realizing that I no longer have to do these small little things like go to the grocery store all the time, go straight home after work no matter what, keep cords and plugs out of reach always, clean litter boxes, arrange for pet sitters any time I'm out of town, put someone else's needs before my own, etc. Most people would say that those things make a person's life more difficult, but I whole-heartedly disagree. Those things meant getting to have a happy bunny to come home to every single day. Those things meant a loving, trusting bond established between bunny and bunny mommy. Those things meant I was fulfilling my responsibilities and doing a damn good job at fulfilling them. Those things meant that I could give a great life to Coltrane, who depended on me for every single thing.

But what I never realized before until now is that all those little things aren't just part of a routine, they are also very ingrained in my sense of self. Chris and I adopted Coltrane shortly after we graduated and moved out into the "real" world. My whole independent adult life took shape with Coltrane there. It was always: Who am I? I am woman who has a pet rabbit (aka I am a crazy bunny lady). I am woman who takes care of things that need taken care of. I am a woman who puts others' needs first. I am woman who loves. I am a woman who would mostly rather stay home and sit on the floor with a rabbit than go out and party. I am a woman who will be DD mostly so that I don't drink too much to drive home to my bunny. I am a woman who is patient. I am a woman who gains so much from the act of taking care of a pet. I am a woman who is never truly home alone.

And now? I am a woman who cries. I am a woman who is lost. I am a woman who literally doesn't know how to live without her bunny companion.

Remembering Coltrane

I had to put Coltrane down yesterday, much sooner than I thought. He was getting so little air that he started slumping over, so we had to let him go. I'm more devastated than I can adequately explain in words, but I thought the above video was a great way to remember him as the happy little bun he was.

I Cannot Wait to Marry This Man...

Don't he look handsome? Photo by Linda Neri.

A (Bunny) Love Supreme

My bunny Coltrane has cancer.

Even typing the "C-Word" brings tears to my eyes, which is a big part of why I haven't felt strong enough to discuss the situation in a public forum (I've known for a while now). But, it's a huge part of my life currently, and well, I could really use everyone's well-wishes right now.

I took the little guy to the vet a little bit ago because I noticed that one side of his snout was a little bigger than the other, and because he had begun sneezing more than usual. Well, the vet found a mass on Coltrane's gums above his teeth, and she immediately took blood and had me schedule xrays and a surgery so they could remove the mass and send it away for a biopsy.

The results were that the mass was cancerous, and the vet found that the cancer had spread into Coltrane's nasal passage, which was what was causing the sneezing (and presumably the goopy eye problem he's had for a while now). This is scary, as rabbits only breathe through their noses; his air supply is being threatened. The vet said further surgery was not an option, as they'd have to take around half of his face off to maybe get rid of it all. Chemo and radiation are also not good options for such a small creature. So, I'm currently putting some Chinese herbs on his greens, which are supposed to help promote healthy cell growth, and help limit bad cell growth.

However, over the past two weeks, Coltrane has started to decline. He has a bit less energy, and his poor bunny nose is now making whistling and gurgling sounds. When he sneezes (which is often), he makes this horrible high-pitched squeaking noise, which says to me that his nasal passage is smaller than it was before.

I left a message with the vet today to see if there's anything I can do, and to see if he'd be able to live comfortably with one out of two nasal passages open.

Anyways, all I can do besides give him those herbs is continue to give him love and comfort and time (and treats!).

And I also just want to say how much I love that little bunny. He's been with me for four years, and he's made me smile at least once every single one of those days. With Chris gone for the past 6-months, Coltrane has been my constant companion. I realize that a lot of people don't consider rabbits companion animals (as they take a lot more work/time/patience to bond with than say, dogs do), but he has absolutely been one for me.

So, please, send us some positive thoughts, vibes, or whatever it is you're comfortable with. I'm going to leave you with some photos of the bun from right after I first got him (please pardon the red-eye!), which was long before I started this blog. What a cute wittle bun.

Today, I Peed in the River

(Actually, this happened yesterday...)

Guys, I know I've already done a post about peeing outside... and I know that we've already discussed several strategies and differing opinions of how to handle it when nature calls for us women-folk when we're, well, in nature. But, I felt that this recent story was worth sharing, as it bring up some new issues/concerns.

On Sunday morning, Chris and I went sailing. After we stopped for soda/coffee, we drove to this public boat ramp to put in on a river. After we got the boat in the water, but before we pushed off, I realized that I kinda had to pee. However, unfortunately, there is no restroom anywhere close to this boat ramp. There are houses all around the river, and there were people constantly pulling in and out of the VERY PUBLIC boat ramp area. Also, there were no trees I could lean against that would keep me from view, the ground was marshy/wet, and did I mention that there were houses all around?

SO, I decided I would get on the boat anyways. Meh, I'd be fine.

Big. Mistake.

There was a pretty light breeze, so though we were moving, we were not moving fast. It was also a bit chilly and overcast. We kept our eyes out for spots on the shore where we could anchor so I could pee, but, as I mentioned, there were houses everywhere. So, after a good while, I was to the point where I was in pain, so we decided to turn around and head back towards the boat ramp. I was determined to make it until we could get to a bathroom.

But alas, on the way back, the going was even slower. Chris was making plans for me to hop in his van as soon as we got back to drive to a restroom, but at one point, I realized there was no way I would make it. I was in tears it hurt so bad. So, I made the executive decision to strip down to my skivvies, hop in the very chilly water and finally get some relief. So, I did.

Getting back in the boat was interesting, for sure (how Chris kept from laughing I'll never know), and then, after that, there was the matter of me being freezing. I layered up, and we continued to head to shore.

So ladies, I know this is totally TMI, but something I didn't know is that bad things can happen from holding one's urine for too long. According to everydayhealth.com, a "common cause of UTI is holding urine longer than you should." Let's just say I'll be on antibiotics for the next five days. Sheesh.

But seriously, what would you have done in my situation? I couldn't leave once we had the boat in the water, because the boat ramp was busy and you're not supposed to take up all the space for too long. I couldn't just pop a squat in front of a bunch of random people, nor could we anchor off of someone's lawn so I could "water" their plants! What's a girl to do?

Ryan the Girl Goes to Washington

This past weekend, I visited a good friend of mine in Maryland. We went to college together and hadn't seen each other in way too long, and I must say, I had a lovely time! :)

We decided to take the Metro into DC on Saturday, cuz that's what cool people who live within walking distance of a Metro Station do, and because I hadn't been into the city in a very long time.

And who knew? All the cool stuff in DC is FREE. Free, ya'll!

First, we went to the National Zoo, which was surprisingly cool, although crowded and overrun with strollers and children. The best part was seeing the otters. I love otters. If I could be any animal, I would totally be an otter. They seem so happy all the time!

We walked all over the place, saw tons of animals, grabbed a quick bite, and then decided to head to The National Mall.

Now, here's a helpful hint to any and all of you who are planning weekend trips to DC anytime soon: Whenever the Metro needs maintenance, said maintenance is completed on the weekends. This makes sense, as rush hour would be a total nightmare otherwise. Anyways, the line we were traveling on had two or three stops that were closed this past weekend. So, the Metro's solution for getting travelers where they needed to go was to shove a bazillion people on shuttle buses and drive to all the stops the train couldn't get to. We got to the National Mall with very little hassle. However, this poor kid who was sitting next to where I was standing on the overcrowded bus was having a total freakout... I think he was claustrophobic or something. I felt awful, as I was unable to do anything but stand in my 1 square foot of space, which made it so I was practically hovering over him.

Anyways, by the time we got the The Mall, our feet were already starting to hurt. So, we decided to hit up some highlights at two museums. We first went to the American History Museum, where we saw the very cool First Ladies' Gowns exhibit, an instrument exhibit, and the lunch counter and stools from the famous sit-in at the Woolworth's in Greensboro, NC. Very moving to see.

Then, we went to the Natural History Museum to see the dinosaurs and giant sea creatures (well, their fossilized bones...). I have lots of memories of that exhibit from when I was a wee one. Though, I remember everything being bigger.

After that, we stepped outside, and the sky had turned this ominous black color off towards the Washington Monument, and the wind had picked up. It was obvious that a deluge was coming our way.

We speed walked to the Metro station, and got there as the first drops were falling. We had to wait about fifteen minutes for the train, and, as we were waiting, soaked people kept walking by. We were worried, because we knew we were going to have to go outside to get on a bus once we got to the stop before all the closed stations. Neither of us had jackets or umbrellas.

We got to the last stop and sprinted up the stairs of the metro station, ready to fling ourselves out of the rain and onto the waiting shuttle... however, they had people waiting in line to get on... while people on the bus were trying to decide whether or not they were getting off (no dirty jokes please...). So, we got SOAKED.

The problem was that the bus drivers weren't telling anyone which stops they were getting to. If you didn't know the area, you had no clue if you were at the right stop or not! So all the people on the bus had no clue if they needed to disembark or not.

Anyways, we got on another jam-packed bus (but this time got seats!). Unfortunately, traffic had picked up, so it took us like 40 minutes to get to the metro stop where we could catch the train back to my friend's hometown. That's 40 minutes sitting with a dude's elbow in my face. So, a bunch of soaked people were crammed into an air conditioned bus and then had to sit in traffic for forever. People got grumpy.

Oh yeah, and the temperature dropped from 92 degrees to 65 degrees. Once we finally got back to Maryland and were walking back to my friend's place from the Metro stop, we were freezing! Earlier in the day we were sweating profusely! Crazy September weather.

Anyways, that was my weekend adventure in the Nation's Capital.

When we got back, we made pasta and roasted broccoli (my new favorite thing EVER), and then proceeded to drink an entire bottle of (much-deserved) red wine.

Half Gallon of Hell

Wow, I think this may be the longest I've gone without writing a post since I started this damn blog. You know, over TWO YEARS ago! Oops.

Life has been insane and has completely kicked my butt these past few weeks. All I feel like doing is curling up on the couch, watching Gilmore Girls, and eating ice cream.

So, while I could spend this post whining and detailing the ten things going on that are stressing me out, etc, instead I am going to rant about one, small specific thing that happened this past weekend.

I mentioned that all I want to do is sit on my butt cheeks and eat ice cream, yes? Well, over the weekend, I decided that I wanted Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream. And, since I'm B-to-the-Roke (one of the ten things that is stressing me out these days), I decided to be cheap about it and buy the Kroger brand stuff. It looked safe enough: It had a lovely picture of what looked to be perfectly yummy cookie dough ice cream on it, and it said "Jammed" on it, suggesting that the ice cream was jammed with cookie dough. Vanilla ice cream "jammed" with chunks of cookie dough? Yes, please! Chris tried to convince me not to buy the store brand stuff, but I was stubborn and cheap and did it anyways.

What I didn't notice until we got it home is that the carton says "dairy dessert" on it; nowhere were the words  "ice cream." Hmmmm. Strange. Meh, I was sure it would be fine.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, let this be a cautionary tale to you. DO NOT BUY "DAIRY DESSERT" instead of ice cream. It's a horrible impostor. Chris also looked at the ingredient list, and there were about 50 ingredients, most of which were preservatives and other bad things with long names. Blech. It was not good at all. The consistency was so weird, and the cookie dough just tasted like chunks of salt water taffy. Chris and I both also had stomach cramps after eating it. Fun times.

I did some googling, and apparently companies are starting to manufacture their frozen products in a cheaper way, but they're not legally allowed to call their new, preservative-filled food "ice cream." Cuz it's NOT.

Anyways, on Sunday, after Chris left, I found myself at Kroger buying name brand Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ICE CREAM, because I could not bear to eat any more of the Half-Gallon-of-Hell that was the Dairy Dessert. I threw it away, in fact. So, I ended up spending MORE money in total by cheaping out and getting the Kroger brand nastiness in the first place. Morals of the story: Never cheap out on the important things in life (like dessert! and wine!), and NEVER buy anything called "dairy dessert."

Sheesh.

Addicted to Short Hair

My sister once told me that once she got her first tattoo, she immediately wanted another. She got a second one, and then still wanted another. That's very much how I feel about short hair. Once I got my hair cut short, I immediately wanted it shorter. And shorter. And now I feel like I've finally gotten to the point where I've found the perfect (very short) length.

Here was my inspiration pic:


Emma Watson

And here's the shorty-short haircut on me:

And I love it! I think this is the shortest I really need to or want to go.

I guess I'm doing the opposite of most brides to be... most of them grow their hair out long before their wedding. I've just been going shorter and shorter!

In other news, I'm moving this coming weekend (so the house is full of boxes). It really makes me want to get rid of all of the (heavy) things I own that I don't need!

Bringin' Home the Oysters

This past weekend, Chris brought home fresh oysters. Finally! I had been waiting for this since Chris left for the aquaculture program in April. Not only does my man come home, but he brings oysters with him; it doesn't get much better than that, let me tell ya.

Arsters!

Oyster Wash

Shucking

YUM!

On Friday, we had a bunch of them raw  (on the half shell). Saturday and Sunday, Chris grilled them. We went to an oyster festival in April, which is where we both first tasted the wonderful thing that is a grilled oyster. So, today we decided to try it on our own. And goodness gracious, it was the best thing ever.

We enjoyed them with a pint of one of our favorite beers: Legend Brown.

Ah, bella!

That beer photo is mainly for my father, who makes fun of me for liking such malty beers! :)

But, now, alas, I have neither oysters nor fiance in the house. And that is sad.

Timber!

Well, Chris left for the week (again), so I'm currently drowning my sorrow in raspberry sorbet, and, well, blogging.

This past Friday night, a crazy-scary storm ripped through our town. We were actually out-and-about with one of Chris's besties when the wind started up. By the time we got home, the tree in our front yard (which we've both been worried about) was down.

Timber!

Yup, that's pretty bad.

A limb alongside our house, probably the one that cracked our window.

Cracked window.

The view from the backyard.

The tree is hanging into our neighbor's yard. She is not happy. But, it's the landlord's responsibility, not ours. So, we wait.

Are You a Boy or a Girl?

Today, I went out and did Day 2 of Week 5 of the Couch to 5k program. I ran for 8 minutes straight. Twice. Woo! I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but, the program started out with me running for 1 minute straight. So I'm doing 8x better, yes?

Anyways, when I was doing my "brisk warmup walk," I passed a bunch of little kids who were playing outside. One of the little boys (who was probably 6 or 7) yelled over at me, "are you a boy or a girl?" I was a bit stunned. But, then I thought about it, and I realized that, with my short hair, no earrings, baggy T-shirt, etc, it could be something a little kid would question.

However, my pride was a bit wounded (I think memories of being teased for having a "boy's name" were triggered). I thought of saying something absurd back like "neither." But, then I decided to say "I'm a girl, what are you?" The little boy seemed pretty stunned that I had to ask him what he was. Point made.

Then, the little boy's little sister (I assume) started repeating, "Are you a boy or a girl? Are you a boy or a girl?" over and over. So, I kept on walking.

I'm not sure why I felt the need to share that. I guess it just shows you how society/parents shape their children's perception of things like gender and sexuality. Short hair= masculine, etc.

I'd like to get to the point where people make ZERO assumptions based on silly things like hair length, personal style, etc. I think we have a really, really long way to go.

8 Reasons Why I'm Sure I'm Turning Into My Mother

1. I must be aware of the exact location of my purse at all times, otherwise I will have a paralyzing anxiety attack. It must either be in my direct line of sight, or, I must be touching it. At restaurants, I either hang it on my chair, or put it on the floor so that it is touching my foot. My mom is the exact same way... as a kid, I remember constantly being asked if her purse was in the backseat of the car where I was sitting.

2. Twice now, after I've gone to get the mail, I've opened the mailbox, gotten out the mail, closed the mailbox, and then I've pushed the "lock" button my car key. You know, to make sure the mailbox is locked.

3. I sing songs to my pet rabbit Coltrane, which are often loosely based on existing songs. For example, my latest composition is "Feed the Bun," which is based on the song "Feed the Birds" from Mary Poppins (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VwU_oS2ErQ). Well, mainly just the chorus: "Feeeeed the bun, toppins for bun, toppins! toppins! toppins for buuuuuun..." Ok, you get the idea. I am immediately reminded of my mother's composition about the dog we used to have, named Earl. It was based on that delightful hymn that we all used to sing on Sunday mornings, "Disco Inferno": "Go Early go! Disco Inferno! Go Early Go! Bite the head off of that squirrel!" Ahem.

4. I am a horrible dancer, and yet, I do it anyways, though only in the safety of my own abode.

5. I'm pretty sure portable GPS devices were actually specifically manufactured for my mom and me.

6. I go to the grocery store at least 3 times a week.

7. I get motion sick if I brave the swings at a playground, read in the car, or, you know, turn my head too fast.

8. I hate mayonnaise and syrup, and I never put butter on my bread.

Love you mom! :)

In other news, I had a salad made from spinach from my garden with dinner tonight. It was DELICIOUS!

In other other news, I am now on Week 4 of Couch to 5k!

The Vegetables of My Labor

You guys! I just ran out into the rain and snipped some basil leaves from my garden. And I made a small insalata caprese using that basil. And then I ate it. AND IT WAS GOOD!

Sorry, it's just extremely satisfying to have thrown itty bitty seeds into the ground and to have watered them, watched them grow, and then to have gotten to eat the fruits (vegetables) of that labor.

Basil!

Basil!

Caprese!

Anyways, Chris came home this weekend so we could start packing up our stuff. Our lease is up at the end of July!

We grilled out on Saturday night, which was fun and delicious!

Leeks, squash, brussels sprouts, potatoes with evoo, italian seasoning, garlic, salt, and sriracha.

Grill!

Chris looking deliciously scruffy.

In other news, I'm now on Week 3 of Couch to 5k! Woo!

Dress Shopping!

On the Monday after Mother's Day, my mom and I got into her bright red Mini Cooper and headed up towards Annapolis. Our mission: Secure kick-ass wedding dress.

I had been looking at dresses online for awhile, as had my mom, and we sent each other some ideas via email. I'm supremely picky about pretty much everything I wear, and I had a few criteria I knew I wanted my dress to meet. I LOVE the way lace dresses look and I knew I wanted a short dress, not a long, heavy, beaded, blingy thing. I want to be able to be comfortable on my wedding day!

Anyways, I found a picture of one online that I thought might be it, and I sent it to my mom, who loved it. She then proceeded to call every bridal store in a 100 mile radius that carried the line that this dress belonged to. Not one of them had a sample I could try on; most bridal boutiques don't keep short dresses in stock, because I guess not too many people want them.

Finally, a little store in Annapolis said they would see if they could order the sample in! A ray of hope! Woo!

And they did.

So, as I said, on that Monday, we got into the Mini Cooper and headed to Annapolis, as the sky dumped three bazillion tons of rain on us. My mom and I, alike in many many ways, left early and brought the GPS. It's a good thing too, because we hit horrible traffic.

But, we made it to the bridal store, and there hanging on a hanger, was THE dress. It was beautiful.

I was pretty nervous walking into the store... thank goodness my mom was there with me... she seemed cool as a cucumber. They let me try on the dress, and then I came out to the three mirrors and the podium thingie. Annnnnnnnnnnd, I did that super cliche thing and started crying, which is a little embarrassing. It just sort of made everything feel real. And when I looked at my mom, I could tell that she was very happy that I loved the dress, and that she loved it as well.

So. I decided to try on a couple more, since we made the trip and all. So, without further ado, here is a picture of me in a wedding dress (don't worry for those of you who are superstitious... this is not THE dress):

Please excuse my bra straps and that super uggo belt thingie the consultant put on there!

So, we decided to get the first dress I tried on in ivory, and that was that!

I took my mom out to lunch as a small "thank you" as she bought my dress. We went to the Ram's Head and had great food and just enjoyed our Mother/Daughter day.

It's all happening!

A Very Important Date

When Chris and I first got engaged, I kind of assumed this blog would end up as a wedding planning blog for a year or so. I've tried to keep it from becoming that. BUT, I thought I'd share a few details (mainly because I'm excited!).

First off, we are getting married on June 1, 2013 in Fairfax, VA. So, we have a little less than a year to go! In some ways, a year seems like forever, in others, it seems like it's coming quickly!

The venue we picked has a space for the ceremony upstairs (full of books!), and a hall for the reception downstairs. Currently, we are working on figuring out the food. Chris and I have a BBQ and beer bash in mind.

Secondly, I have found a dress! Yes, already! I found a beautiful little number online, and my mom worked very hard to find a store that could get a sample in for me to try on. She and I drove up to Annapolis, I tried on the dress, and I instantly knew it was the one. And yeah, I had that cliche experience where I cried. What can I say? I could just see myself walking down the aisle to marry Chris in it. I'll show it to you all sometime after the wedding. Anyways, I have to wait many months to actually get MY dress, so I'm glad that got done early.

Anyways, that's about it for now!

Couch to 5k

I haven't been nearly as good about exercise since Chris left for his internship; I think it's just been hard for me to keep my habits of stress-eating and depressed-eating at bay. Plus, I've been quite busy!

Anyways, I think part of it is that I've been in need of a new routine or direction. I thought about doing all 30 days of the Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred DVD... but, honestly, I have done that workout DVD SO MANY times that I think I'll be too bored to really get through the whole thing. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love that DVD, and I think it's incredibly effective. I just don't want to do it for 30 days straight.

So, I decided that I'm going to try a Couch to 5k program. It's a running/walking program that starts off very slowly and builds up to a 3-mile run. And it's supposed to be done 3 days per week, which is totally doable. I've never really enjoyed running, but I think that has to do with the fact that I always try to run too fast right off the bat. Plus, I have a knee that has some issues, so I just need to take things slowly and build up to running quickly.

I recently did my first day of the program, and I felt AWESOME afterwards. It was 25 minutes total, with a warmup walk, and then alternating between jogging and walking. Of course, when I did it, it was like 90 degrees outside, but I'd like to think that some of the sweat had to do with the hard work :)

So, hopefully the fact that I decided to tell the blogosphere about my plan will keep me accountable. I'm hoping to incorporate some of the Jillian Michaels DVDs into my week on the non-couch-to-5k days, so we'll see how that goes.

What are you all doing to keep fit? Do you have any tips for me to help me get used to running? Has anyone else tried the Couch to 5k program?

Back to the Garden

First off, happy Memorial Day to everyone out there. I hope everyone is taking a moment to remember what this day off is really for, amongst the shopping and the BBQing.

Chris came home this weekend, but he had to leave Sunday evening. One thing I was excited to show him when he got home was how the veggie garden I planted was doing. I've never tried a garden before, so I'm a bit unexperienced. But, things are growing, which is the goal, right?

I planted carrots:

Squash:



Tomatoes:

Basil:

Spinach:

And lettuce...

Well, there used to be a lovely-looking young head of lettuce there.  two days ago I got to show Chris how proud I was of my lettuce. Then yesterday, when I went out ot water the garden, it was gone. Frowny face. The thing is, I have a fence around the garden:

So, I thought that maybe the many birds in our backyard were rooting around in there, or that maybe there was a mole in the garden or something. But, today, I think I may have found the culprit:

So, my question to those of you with green thumbs is this: Could this guy have gotten under my fence and then back out without really bending it at all or anything? Would he have gotten in there, eaten the lettuce, and then left everything else there? If not, what else could be cherry-picking my lettuce? What can I do to keep my plants safe without putting poison on them?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! It's so rewarding to watch these little soon-to-be-veggies grow!

I See London, I See France...

So, this past weekend, Chris and I drove up to Pennsylvania to see his little sister graduate from college (good lord we're old!). :)

We had a whirlwind weekend full of graduation-type activities and celebrations. I was a little stressed because of the long drives, etc, but mostly it was a great weekend. And it's always a pleasure to spend time with Chris's family; we definitely don't get to see them enough.

I packed a new skirt to wear Saturday and then one of my favorite sun dresses to wear on Sunday. It has a "keyhole" in the front in the shape of a triangle. One of my good friends once told me that it looked like I got stabbed with a Toblerone. So, Chris and I call it The Toblerone Dress. Anyways, that's besides the point.

Toblerone (www.toblerone.com).

The Toblerone Dress. Picture by Laura Smith.

Right as Chris and I were getting ready to leave on Sunday afternoon, his family asked if I would take a picture of them for their Christmas card. Naturally, I said "of course!" Unfortunately, I had on The Toblerone Dress that day, and it was quite windy.

So, as I had my hands up holding the camera, a lovely breeze kissed our cheeks, and then blew up my dress, revealing my bright red underwear with white polka dots to my entire family of future in-laws. I literally died on the spot. Like, really- I'm not actually alive anymore. But, my dead self had to suck it up, laugh at myself, and then keep on snapping photos. Oy. It was seriously a moment out of some kind of sick, twisted movie a la Meet the Parents. Chris was all, "at least you had on underwear..." and I was all "I can't actually answer you because I'm dead."

Have you ever embarrassed yourself in front of your in-laws or SO's family?

Names That Flout Convention: Ryan the Girl Style

Hey guys! What's up?

So, the other day, CNN ran a short little story about people with unusual names. I believe the idea came when Jessica Simpson announced that her newborn daughter was named Maxwell Drew. Then, they asked people to write in about their own experiences. So, being passionate about this subject (obviously! I frickin' named my blog based on that passion!), I decided to write in with my little story. The next day, I got an email from a writer for CNN.com asking me if I would be willing to do a short phone interview. I said, "sure thing!"

So, the article the woman wrote came out today. Here's the link if you're interested in reading it: http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/08/living/ireport-names-identity/index.html. My small part is at the very bottom.

It certainly made me realize that I'm not as eloquent as I think I am! :P Phone interviews don't are certainly not my favorite. Anyways, I thought the article was cool. It was nice to hear about other people's Ryan the Girl Moments (Or Michael the Girl Moments, or Kim the Guy Moments, as the case may be).

I am also obviously not the only person who has been teased because her name doesn't adhere to some preconceived notions of gender in society. And, if you read the dreaded Comments section under the article, you will see that there are a lot of intolerant jerks out there (why do they care what other people name their kids???).

In other news regarding tolerance, I will never be moving to North Carolina, thank yew very much.

In other other news, I'm going to check out a possible wedding venue this weekend! :)

Cooking For One

My last post touched on the fact that Chris left for the oyster aquaculture program. What I haven't yet mentioned is just how hard it is for me to be away from him so much of the time. I assume most couples have this hard of a time when spending this much time apart. But, I guess I thought I'd be able to handle it better than I have. Of course I knew I'd miss Chris. But man, it's been so hard. Even before we lived together, we pretty much saw each other every single day.

And, well, he's just my best friend (and fiance... woot woot!), and I tell him everything. And it's hard to have mostly phone contact with the person you love to embrace on a daily basis. AND, I'm a crazy-emotional female who cries when she is feeling... well, pretty much anything. So, needless to say, I've been crying buckets these days.

But, Chris is enjoying the new job and doing well at it. He's got a river view from his abode, and his days seem to incorporate a split of manual labor and lab work. And I'm just proud. He's growing oysters, which are not only one of the best-tasting foods ever, but which also filter 20-30 gallons of water per day (EACH oyster does that!). He's helping to keep the Chesapeake Bay clean!

Anyways, now I'm going to switch gears from sappy to silly.

One of the things that's been hard to adjust to with Chris gone is cooking. That is, cooking for only one person. Part of the problem is that everything at the store seems packaged for a family of four. Even the produce is that way! If I want some avocado with dinner, I have to cut one open. I can't eat a whole one, but if I don't, the rest goes bad. If I buy the variety of veggies and fruits that I want to keep in the house, I either have to go to the grocery store every day and buy small amounts of things, or I have to buy them all at once and gorge myself ont them to keep them from going bad. A can of anything is too much for one. A box of anything is too much for one. Anyways, I have tupperwares FULL of food in the fridge right now!

Chris and I really enjoy making meals together, so when I'm cooking for myself, I'm always thinking of him.

So, I'll leave you with these lines from Joni Mithcell:

"And when he's gone, me and them lonesome blues collide

The bed's too big, the frying pan's too wide..."

The Last Hurrah

Life was so crazy-nutso leading up to Chris leaving for the aquaculture program that we had to have our Last Hurrah night together almost a week before he left. I'm glad we even got one night together just the two of us, honestly. I was afraid we wouldn't even get that. So, we made delicious salads with cherry tomatoes, avocado, black beans, corn, hard-boiled egg, and lightly-breaded chicken. It was SO good.

I also gave Chris one early birthday present (his birthday is next week) because I wanted us both to be able to enjoy it at least once before he left:

Ray LaMontagne on VINYL baby! Sweet.



We also celebrated with champagne and mango-orange juice, even though we've both had enough champagne (actually, this was Prosecco) to get pretty much the whole state of VA tipsy. We just wanted to do our own toast, just the two of us!

Then, of course, we played a game. The game we played was:

Tower of Bunnies!!!!!!

It's basically like Jenga, but, you know, with BUNNIES. Yay! Oh yeah, and I won best 2 out of 3. Champion Tower of Bunnies Player= Moi!

Tower of Bunnies!

An Engaging Week

Oh boy (girl!), where do I even start??? I know it's been longer than a week, but, SO much has happened in the last 7 days, so I'm going to focus there, in chronological order. Sound good? Good.

First off, I chopped ALL my hairs off. Not like last time. Like, pixie-cut style. Annnnd, I LOVE it. So much. I seriously should have done this years ago. It feels so incredibly comfortable!

Secondly, Chris got into an oyster aquaculture program he was hoping to get into. We're both really excited, and I am a very proud lady. It's 6 months long, and he has to go away for it. But, we'll see each other on weekends. It's going to be difficult, but I think we're both looking at it as an investment in the future, which I think is a pretty healthy outlook. AND, oysters are filter feeders, so Chris will be working to keep the Chesapeake Bay healthy. AWESOME! And, I'm hoping that he can maybe sneak me home some oysters for to eat. Yums.

Thirdly, I got a raise.
Lastly, I'd like to take this opportunity to officially announce to the blog world that Chris and I are engaged. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

This past weekend, we decided to go to Williamsburg for two nights and camp. We'd both had crazy weeks and knew that we'd have very little time together before Chris leaves for the oyster program, so we decided to get away. We decided to go to Williamsburg because we both went to The College of William and Mary, and it had been too long since we had been back to visit.

On Saturday morning, we went and got coffee at the coffee shop I used to work at on the William and Mary campus. Ah, memories. Then, we decided to walk around campus to check out our old haunts. As we walked down the hill on campus that goes by the Crim Dell bridge, Chris grabbed my hand and guided me down the path that takes you over the bridge.

Now, if you didn't go to William and Mary, you might not know what the deal is with the Crim Dell bridge. Here's what Wikipedia says about it: "It is rumored that if two lovers cross the bridge together and kiss at the crest of it, they will be together forever. If that couple separates at any point thereafter, however, the lady must throw her ex-lover off of the bridge and into the water to break the curse of being forever single."

Anyways, so as we were walking that way, I got a little nervous and started joking: "Are you going to push me off the bridge?" I asked.

He said that he had something better in mind. And then he got down on one knee, pulled out a ring box, and asked me to marry him. And of course, I said "yes."

It was awesome. I put on the beautiful ring he picked out, and then we hugged, and then I cried a little.

Then, we walked around a bit, grabbed a drink to celebrate, and then started the insane number of phone calls we had to make!

Here's my new shiny:

The diamond belonged to Chris's grandmother. He got it put into a beautiful, modern setting that is simply perfect. It's amazing, he's amazing, and I'm amazed.

Ok, now I'm tired. Goodnight blog-world!

A Letter to the Governor

I rarely get on my soapbox in my writing on this blog, but today, I feel like I need to. And damnit, it's MY blog. And a personal blog at that.

As some of you may know, I live in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Today, a bill I whole-heartedly oppose was passed by the state Senate. All that stands in the way of it becomming law is the governor's signature. I wrote a letter and have been trying to email it to the governor all day, but the website keeps crashing (hopefully because so many people are voicing their concern!). Anyways, here's my letter to the governor. Please don't feel like I'm trying to alienate any of you or to make you feel bad if you disagree with me. I just really feel the need to express myself on this. If you would rather not read my letter to the governor of VA, read no further. I won't be offended!

Governor,

Please do not sign HB 462 (The one requiring an uncessary and invasive ultrasound to any woman seeking an abortion) into law.

I feel that the State of VA is trying very hard to make its female tax-payers into second-class citizens who aren't allowed to have control over their own bodies. I have lived in VA my whole life (I'm a 26-year-old female) and have never, until now, been scared about living in such a conservative "red state." Now, I'm terrified. This, combined with the almost-passing of the so-called "Personhood Amendment," really scare me.

Religious beliefs have no place in government or law-making, and I feel that this bill has made it through the House and Senate because so many representatives are acting on their personal religious beliefs and not their duties to their citizens (who come from a variety of backgrounds and have a variety of beliefs). The law should protect a woman's reproductive freedom so that any woman with any religious or social background can act as her own values dictate.

I also think it's political suicide to alientate more than half of your voters. Women voters will stand up for themselves in the next election(s). So if you need a reason not to sign that bill, other than that it's the right thing to do, there you go. The only thing scarier than a mad woman is a bunch of mad women, believe me: We will show our discontent at the polls.

Thank you for your time,
Ryan Babarsky

Nothing Says "I Love You" Like Oyster Stew

Yesterday was the best Valentine's Day I've ever had.

Historically, Chris is not a fan of the Day-of-Forced-Romance, which I get. But me, I'm in the Any-Excuse-to-Celebrate-Anything-is-Fine-With-Me camp. So, to celebrate, we decided to cook a nice dinner and open a bottle of wine, and that's it. No gifts, no boxes of mystery chocolates, no cards, no poems, etc. There may have been flowers present, but that's because Chris got them for me last week when I was having a bit of a rough time.

So, when I got home, I saw that Chris had cleaned the kitchen, our room, and the dining room table (Men, take note: Cleaning up= Helluva Lotta Brownie Points). I worked out and showered, and we then started to cook the meal we picked out: Oyster Stew.

Both of us read and very-much enjoyed the book Chesapeake by James Michener, and at one point in the book, Michener describes how a cook on an oyster boat makes oyster stew. When I read it, my mouth literally started watering. So, I found a recipe online for a semi-healthy version of it, and we made it! And it was good.

Then, we had dessert and talked.

Then, we played Trivial Pursuit. It doesn't really matter who won (translation: Chris won).

Chris had also made a great mix on his Ipod, and, when that was over, we listened to Van Morrison records. It was frickin' sweet.

I dunno, I think the reason I had such a great night is that nothing was really planned out, and that it was just fun and relaxing. And well, I like taking a little timeout for "us" that involves no pressure.

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day!

Here are my V-Day pics: