Half Gallon of Hell

Wow, I think this may be the longest I've gone without writing a post since I started this damn blog. You know, over TWO YEARS ago! Oops.

Life has been insane and has completely kicked my butt these past few weeks. All I feel like doing is curling up on the couch, watching Gilmore Girls, and eating ice cream.

So, while I could spend this post whining and detailing the ten things going on that are stressing me out, etc, instead I am going to rant about one, small specific thing that happened this past weekend.

I mentioned that all I want to do is sit on my butt cheeks and eat ice cream, yes? Well, over the weekend, I decided that I wanted Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream. And, since I'm B-to-the-Roke (one of the ten things that is stressing me out these days), I decided to be cheap about it and buy the Kroger brand stuff. It looked safe enough: It had a lovely picture of what looked to be perfectly yummy cookie dough ice cream on it, and it said "Jammed" on it, suggesting that the ice cream was jammed with cookie dough. Vanilla ice cream "jammed" with chunks of cookie dough? Yes, please! Chris tried to convince me not to buy the store brand stuff, but I was stubborn and cheap and did it anyways.

What I didn't notice until we got it home is that the carton says "dairy dessert" on it; nowhere were the words  "ice cream." Hmmmm. Strange. Meh, I was sure it would be fine.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, let this be a cautionary tale to you. DO NOT BUY "DAIRY DESSERT" instead of ice cream. It's a horrible impostor. Chris also looked at the ingredient list, and there were about 50 ingredients, most of which were preservatives and other bad things with long names. Blech. It was not good at all. The consistency was so weird, and the cookie dough just tasted like chunks of salt water taffy. Chris and I both also had stomach cramps after eating it. Fun times.

I did some googling, and apparently companies are starting to manufacture their frozen products in a cheaper way, but they're not legally allowed to call their new, preservative-filled food "ice cream." Cuz it's NOT.

Anyways, on Sunday, after Chris left, I found myself at Kroger buying name brand Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ICE CREAM, because I could not bear to eat any more of the Half-Gallon-of-Hell that was the Dairy Dessert. I threw it away, in fact. So, I ended up spending MORE money in total by cheaping out and getting the Kroger brand nastiness in the first place. Morals of the story: Never cheap out on the important things in life (like dessert! and wine!), and NEVER buy anything called "dairy dessert."

Sheesh.