Wow, I think this may be the longest I've gone without writing a post since I started this damn blog. You know, over TWO YEARS ago! Oops.
Life has been insane and has completely kicked my butt these past few weeks. All I feel like doing is curling up on the couch, watching Gilmore Girls, and eating ice cream.
So, while I could spend this post whining and detailing the ten things going on that are stressing me out, etc, instead I am going to rant about one, small specific thing that happened this past weekend.
I mentioned that all I want to do is sit on my butt cheeks and eat ice cream, yes? Well, over the weekend, I decided that I wanted Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream. And, since I'm B-to-the-Roke (one of the ten things that is stressing me out these days), I decided to be cheap about it and buy the Kroger brand stuff. It looked safe enough: It had a lovely picture of what looked to be perfectly yummy cookie dough ice cream on it, and it said "Jammed" on it, suggesting that the ice cream was jammed with cookie dough. Vanilla ice cream "jammed" with chunks of cookie dough? Yes, please! Chris tried to convince me not to buy the store brand stuff, but I was stubborn and cheap and did it anyways.
What I didn't notice until we got it home is that the carton says "dairy dessert" on it; nowhere were the words "ice cream." Hmmmm. Strange. Meh, I was sure it would be fine.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, let this be a cautionary tale to you. DO NOT BUY "DAIRY DESSERT" instead of ice cream. It's a horrible impostor. Chris also looked at the ingredient list, and there were about 50 ingredients, most of which were preservatives and other bad things with long names. Blech. It was not good at all. The consistency was so weird, and the cookie dough just tasted like chunks of salt water taffy. Chris and I both also had stomach cramps after eating it. Fun times.
I did some googling, and apparently companies are starting to manufacture their frozen products in a cheaper way, but they're not legally allowed to call their new, preservative-filled food "ice cream." Cuz it's NOT.
Anyways, on Sunday, after Chris left, I found myself at Kroger buying name brand Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ICE CREAM, because I could not bear to eat any more of the Half-Gallon-of-Hell that was the Dairy Dessert. I threw it away, in fact. So, I ended up spending MORE money in total by cheaping out and getting the Kroger brand nastiness in the first place. Morals of the story: Never cheap out on the important things in life (like dessert! and wine!), and NEVER buy anything called "dairy dessert."
Sheesh.
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
A Letter to the Governor
I rarely get on my soapbox in my writing on this blog, but today, I feel like I need to. And damnit, it's MY blog. And a personal blog at that.
As some of you may know, I live in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Today, a bill I whole-heartedly oppose was passed by the state Senate. All that stands in the way of it becomming law is the governor's signature. I wrote a letter and have been trying to email it to the governor all day, but the website keeps crashing (hopefully because so many people are voicing their concern!). Anyways, here's my letter to the governor. Please don't feel like I'm trying to alienate any of you or to make you feel bad if you disagree with me. I just really feel the need to express myself on this. If you would rather not read my letter to the governor of VA, read no further. I won't be offended!
Governor,
Please do not sign HB 462 (The one requiring an uncessary and invasive ultrasound to any woman seeking an abortion) into law.
I feel that the State of VA is trying very hard to make its female tax-payers into second-class citizens who aren't allowed to have control over their own bodies. I have lived in VA my whole life (I'm a 26-year-old female) and have never, until now, been scared about living in such a conservative "red state." Now, I'm terrified. This, combined with the almost-passing of the so-called "Personhood Amendment," really scare me.
Religious beliefs have no place in government or law-making, and I feel that this bill has made it through the House and Senate because so many representatives are acting on their personal religious beliefs and not their duties to their citizens (who come from a variety of backgrounds and have a variety of beliefs). The law should protect a woman's reproductive freedom so that any woman with any religious or social background can act as her own values dictate.
I also think it's political suicide to alientate more than half of your voters. Women voters will stand up for themselves in the next election(s). So if you need a reason not to sign that bill, other than that it's the right thing to do, there you go. The only thing scarier than a mad woman is a bunch of mad women, believe me: We will show our discontent at the polls.
Thank you for your time,
Ryan Babarsky
As some of you may know, I live in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Today, a bill I whole-heartedly oppose was passed by the state Senate. All that stands in the way of it becomming law is the governor's signature. I wrote a letter and have been trying to email it to the governor all day, but the website keeps crashing (hopefully because so many people are voicing their concern!). Anyways, here's my letter to the governor. Please don't feel like I'm trying to alienate any of you or to make you feel bad if you disagree with me. I just really feel the need to express myself on this. If you would rather not read my letter to the governor of VA, read no further. I won't be offended!
Governor,
Please do not sign HB 462 (The one requiring an uncessary and invasive ultrasound to any woman seeking an abortion) into law.
I feel that the State of VA is trying very hard to make its female tax-payers into second-class citizens who aren't allowed to have control over their own bodies. I have lived in VA my whole life (I'm a 26-year-old female) and have never, until now, been scared about living in such a conservative "red state." Now, I'm terrified. This, combined with the almost-passing of the so-called "Personhood Amendment," really scare me.
Religious beliefs have no place in government or law-making, and I feel that this bill has made it through the House and Senate because so many representatives are acting on their personal religious beliefs and not their duties to their citizens (who come from a variety of backgrounds and have a variety of beliefs). The law should protect a woman's reproductive freedom so that any woman with any religious or social background can act as her own values dictate.
I also think it's political suicide to alientate more than half of your voters. Women voters will stand up for themselves in the next election(s). So if you need a reason not to sign that bill, other than that it's the right thing to do, there you go. The only thing scarier than a mad woman is a bunch of mad women, believe me: We will show our discontent at the polls.
Thank you for your time,
Ryan Babarsky
Monday, June 13, 2011
Glaring Mistakes
I've done a lot of traveling by car lately, and I've come to realize that I'm the only person on the road who's not a dumbass. I'm sure you're all very nice outside of your cars, but I'm pretty convinced you all (that is, everyone but me) magically turn into dumbasses as soon as you turn the key in your ignitions. It's like you have a Clockwise-Turning Magic Wand of Stupidity on your key rings.
I don't know how many times I've witnessed someone trying to zip across the highway, only to just miss getting T-boned by a semi. Because they'd rather die than have to wait ten seconds for traffic to clear the area. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a dumbass thing to do. I don't care if your wife is having a baby in the passenger seat; that is no excuse to do stupid shit on the road. Do you want her and your semi-born kid to die? No. Oh, and I was driving home in a really bad thunderstorm yesterday, and people were tailgating and speeding and being DUMBASSES. And, of course, I passed a nasty accident where someone's shiny, red car became a shiny, red mess. I'm sure they're very sorry for tailgating that giant truck that ended up not even having a dent in it. But, you know what? I'm sure they'll do it again when they get their car back from the auto-body shop. Cuz they're a dumbass.
Whenever someone does something freakin' stupid on the road, I make sure to glare at them. I'm not talking just looking at them. I'm talking a death-stare, an evil-eye, stink-eye, bore-a-hole-into-their-BWM stare. An I-hope-to-god-you-never-procreate stare. Sometimes, Chris and I try to do this as a team, so as to make our point stronger (but only if it is safe to). If I'm driving, I don't want to be a dumbass and take my eyes off the road while passing the dumbass in question. So, when it is necessary, Chris will perform the glare from the passenger seat. See? There's a right way and a wrong way to punish someone for their dumbassitude.
So, let's start taking the high road, people. Drive safely, and don't endanger yourself and others because your dumbass is running late. You should have left earlier. Oh, and if you see someone else do something stupid, it is your civic duty to glare at them. But only if it's safe. Don't be a dumbass.
I don't know how many times I've witnessed someone trying to zip across the highway, only to just miss getting T-boned by a semi. Because they'd rather die than have to wait ten seconds for traffic to clear the area. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a dumbass thing to do. I don't care if your wife is having a baby in the passenger seat; that is no excuse to do stupid shit on the road. Do you want her and your semi-born kid to die? No. Oh, and I was driving home in a really bad thunderstorm yesterday, and people were tailgating and speeding and being DUMBASSES. And, of course, I passed a nasty accident where someone's shiny, red car became a shiny, red mess. I'm sure they're very sorry for tailgating that giant truck that ended up not even having a dent in it. But, you know what? I'm sure they'll do it again when they get their car back from the auto-body shop. Cuz they're a dumbass.
Whenever someone does something freakin' stupid on the road, I make sure to glare at them. I'm not talking just looking at them. I'm talking a death-stare, an evil-eye, stink-eye, bore-a-hole-into-their-BWM stare. An I-hope-to-god-you-never-procreate stare. Sometimes, Chris and I try to do this as a team, so as to make our point stronger (but only if it is safe to). If I'm driving, I don't want to be a dumbass and take my eyes off the road while passing the dumbass in question. So, when it is necessary, Chris will perform the glare from the passenger seat. See? There's a right way and a wrong way to punish someone for their dumbassitude.
So, let's start taking the high road, people. Drive safely, and don't endanger yourself and others because your dumbass is running late. You should have left earlier. Oh, and if you see someone else do something stupid, it is your civic duty to glare at them. But only if it's safe. Don't be a dumbass.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Things That Annoy the Crap Out of Me
Yesterday was a very stressful day for a variety of reasons, so I really feel like bitching big-time. So, here are some things that have annoyed the crap out of me lately (lucky you):
1. Public restroom stalls without hanging hooks piss me off! Where the heck am I supposed to put my purse? I'm certainly not going to put it on the pee-floor. No way, no how. And in winter-time? Fuggedaboutit!!! Where am I supposed to put my jacket? And what about when I have a purse AND a coat (oh yeah, that's FIVE OR SIX MONTHS OF THE WHOLE FREAKIN' YEAR!)? Seriously, hooks: Get them.
2. Ok, snow is pretty and all (at least, for the first five minutes after it has fallen. Then it gets brown and gross and slushy and icky), but it's cold and it makes my life more difficult (and who needs help making their life more difficult? NO ONE.). I HATE SNOW. I hate clearing off my car, I hate shoveling, I hate the bottoms of my pants getting wet, and I hate feeling stuck in my house. I'm ready for June and July and the beach and shorts and sandals.
3. I can't stand when someone tells you they are going to do something, and then doesn't (and doesn't even let you know that they're not planning to). To me, this means that this flaky person doesn't think I'm worth their time, and that makes me mad.
4. Health insurance companies can just kiss my butt.
5. I can't stand screaming children. Get your kid away from me, or get me some duct tape.
6. I really, really hate when I hear a song on the radio with lyrics my rabbit could have spelled out in his litterbox with his own poop-pellets. Come on, people. Where are our standards? If I can write something better than what is on the radio, that, to me, means that I should be the one on the radio. Am I right?
7. I hate when people don't listen to me when I'm trying to communicate with them. Makes me feel very small.
8. I can't stand people who drive *just* under the speed limit. Unless I'm the one doing it, of course.
9. I really can't stand when people ask our band to play songs we don't know. Sorry, we don't know EVERY FRICKIN' SONG EVER FRICKIN' WRITTEN, mmmk? And, in the same vain, I hate when people assume that, just because I majored in English, I must know what every single word in the English language means, and I also must have read every book ever written or translated into English. Bah! NOPE.
10. And man, I hate when people BITCH all the time...
1. Public restroom stalls without hanging hooks piss me off! Where the heck am I supposed to put my purse? I'm certainly not going to put it on the pee-floor. No way, no how. And in winter-time? Fuggedaboutit!!! Where am I supposed to put my jacket? And what about when I have a purse AND a coat (oh yeah, that's FIVE OR SIX MONTHS OF THE WHOLE FREAKIN' YEAR!)? Seriously, hooks: Get them.
2. Ok, snow is pretty and all (at least, for the first five minutes after it has fallen. Then it gets brown and gross and slushy and icky), but it's cold and it makes my life more difficult (and who needs help making their life more difficult? NO ONE.). I HATE SNOW. I hate clearing off my car, I hate shoveling, I hate the bottoms of my pants getting wet, and I hate feeling stuck in my house. I'm ready for June and July and the beach and shorts and sandals.
3. I can't stand when someone tells you they are going to do something, and then doesn't (and doesn't even let you know that they're not planning to). To me, this means that this flaky person doesn't think I'm worth their time, and that makes me mad.
4. Health insurance companies can just kiss my butt.
5. I can't stand screaming children. Get your kid away from me, or get me some duct tape.
6. I really, really hate when I hear a song on the radio with lyrics my rabbit could have spelled out in his litterbox with his own poop-pellets. Come on, people. Where are our standards? If I can write something better than what is on the radio, that, to me, means that I should be the one on the radio. Am I right?
7. I hate when people don't listen to me when I'm trying to communicate with them. Makes me feel very small.
8. I can't stand people who drive *just* under the speed limit. Unless I'm the one doing it, of course.
9. I really can't stand when people ask our band to play songs we don't know. Sorry, we don't know EVERY FRICKIN' SONG EVER FRICKIN' WRITTEN, mmmk? And, in the same vain, I hate when people assume that, just because I majored in English, I must know what every single word in the English language means, and I also must have read every book ever written or translated into English. Bah! NOPE.
10. And man, I hate when people BITCH all the time...
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Pee-ved
Yesterday I went to a training session for work. Whenever there was a break, all the ladies flocked to the restroom as you might expect. One of my pet peeves is when people (I suppose when I say "people" I mean women. I don't go in the men's room much.) don't follow a few basic (and, I think, obvious) public restroom guidelines. So, here is my Potty Rant:
Dear Women of the World,
Ok, people. I know bathrooms are not the cleanest places. But guess what, Hoverers? YOU'RE the reason the bathroom is a mess in the first place! Just sit your ass on the pot, mmmmmk? That way, it all goes where it's supposed to. And yes, I know toilet seats can be kinda icky. But so is your butt. Just wipe the seat off a little and sit. Simple. There's a reason the toilets have SEATS, and I don't think you'll catch any diseases, you OCD mess-makers!
If you know one stall is occupied, don't use the one RIGHT. NEXT. TO. IT. if there are other ones available. Seriously, it does not make my day to hear your noises. Also, it does not make my day to inspect your shoes, and I'd rather you didn't inspect mine. I've heard that men always adhere to this logical guideline in their bathrooms, so why can't you, good ladies? Are you lonely? Are you trying to make a new friend? Sorry, I don't associate with stall-right-next-to-mine types.
I realize you feel it is necessary to fix your makeup every single time you enter a bathroom, but if you're blocking a sink and I need to wash my hands, I am not amused. Yes, you got there first, but you're not even using the sink! And I'm trying to get-in-and-get-out. Maybe get yourself a hand mirror? Or perhaps just get the heck out of my way. Yeah, I'd prefer that I think.
Come on, ladies. Take pride in yourselves. Take pride in your restroom etiquette. If you feel the need to be disgusting, do it at your house. Oh yeah, and don't invite me over.
Much love,
Ryan the Girl
Dear Women of the World,
Ok, people. I know bathrooms are not the cleanest places. But guess what, Hoverers? YOU'RE the reason the bathroom is a mess in the first place! Just sit your ass on the pot, mmmmmk? That way, it all goes where it's supposed to. And yes, I know toilet seats can be kinda icky. But so is your butt. Just wipe the seat off a little and sit. Simple. There's a reason the toilets have SEATS, and I don't think you'll catch any diseases, you OCD mess-makers!
If you know one stall is occupied, don't use the one RIGHT. NEXT. TO. IT. if there are other ones available. Seriously, it does not make my day to hear your noises. Also, it does not make my day to inspect your shoes, and I'd rather you didn't inspect mine. I've heard that men always adhere to this logical guideline in their bathrooms, so why can't you, good ladies? Are you lonely? Are you trying to make a new friend? Sorry, I don't associate with stall-right-next-to-mine types.
I realize you feel it is necessary to fix your makeup every single time you enter a bathroom, but if you're blocking a sink and I need to wash my hands, I am not amused. Yes, you got there first, but you're not even using the sink! And I'm trying to get-in-and-get-out. Maybe get yourself a hand mirror? Or perhaps just get the heck out of my way. Yeah, I'd prefer that I think.
Come on, ladies. Take pride in yourselves. Take pride in your restroom etiquette. If you feel the need to be disgusting, do it at your house. Oh yeah, and don't invite me over.
Much love,
Ryan the Girl
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)