Pee-ved

Yesterday I went to a training session for work. Whenever there was a break, all the ladies flocked to the restroom as you might expect. One of my pet peeves is when people (I suppose when I say "people" I mean women. I don't go in the men's room much.) don't follow a few basic (and, I think, obvious) public restroom guidelines. So, here is my Potty Rant:

Dear Women of the World,

Ok, people. I know bathrooms are not the cleanest places. But guess what, Hoverers? YOU'RE the reason the bathroom is a mess in the first place! Just sit your ass on the pot, mmmmmk? That way, it all goes where it's supposed to. And yes, I know toilet seats can be kinda icky. But so is your butt. Just wipe the seat off a little and sit. Simple. There's a reason the toilets have SEATS, and I don't think you'll catch any diseases, you OCD mess-makers!

If you know one stall is occupied, don't use the one RIGHT. NEXT. TO. IT.  if there are other ones available. Seriously, it does not make my day to hear your noises. Also, it does not make my day to inspect your shoes, and I'd rather you didn't inspect mine. I've heard that men always adhere to this logical guideline in their bathrooms, so why can't you, good ladies? Are you lonely? Are you trying to make a new friend? Sorry, I don't associate with stall-right-next-to-mine types.

I realize you feel it is necessary to fix your makeup every single time you enter a bathroom, but if you're blocking a sink and I need to wash my hands, I am not amused. Yes, you got there first, but you're not even using the sink! And I'm trying to get-in-and-get-out. Maybe get yourself a hand mirror? Or perhaps just get the heck out of my way. Yeah, I'd prefer that I think.

Come on, ladies. Take pride in yourselves. Take pride in your restroom etiquette. If you feel the need to be disgusting, do it at your house. Oh yeah, and don't invite me over.

Much love,
Ryan the Girl