Today, I went out and did Day 2 of Week 5 of the Couch to 5k program. I ran for 8 minutes straight. Twice. Woo! I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but, the program started out with me running for 1 minute straight. So I'm doing 8x better, yes?
Anyways, when I was doing my "brisk warmup walk," I passed a bunch of little kids who were playing outside. One of the little boys (who was probably 6 or 7) yelled over at me, "are you a boy or a girl?" I was a bit stunned. But, then I thought about it, and I realized that, with my short hair, no earrings, baggy T-shirt, etc, it could be something a little kid would question.
However, my pride was a bit wounded (I think memories of being teased for having a "boy's name" were triggered). I thought of saying something absurd back like "neither." But, then I decided to say "I'm a girl, what are you?" The little boy seemed pretty stunned that I had to ask him what he was. Point made.
Then, the little boy's little sister (I assume) started repeating, "Are you a boy or a girl? Are you a boy or a girl?" over and over. So, I kept on walking.
I'm not sure why I felt the need to share that. I guess it just shows you how society/parents shape their children's perception of things like gender and sexuality. Short hair= masculine, etc.
I'd like to get to the point where people make ZERO assumptions based on silly things like hair length, personal style, etc. I think we have a really, really long way to go.
I'm not sure that this comment touches directly on the very important issue you raise, but can we talk about the aesthetic of androgyny? Throughout history, beings like angels and prophets have been described as otherworldly in their beauty--and androgynous. Think of how mesmerizing Tilda Swinton is, esp as the angel Gabriel in _Constantine_. Growing up, I always found fine-boned, 'feminine' men most alluring. And what about David Bowie? The man is a sex GOD. High fashion models are purposefully made up to look androgynous. And frankly, as I've built a more powerful physique (through Jillian--thx, Jillian!) and started wearing less makeup, I've enjoyed feeling a little masculine.
ReplyDeleteAll of this is to say that, yes, you're right--the way we 'identify' people as male and female almost resembles the "voodoo" of physiognomy and phrenology (the study of faces and head-shape in order to determine personality). And people whose features resist those obvious categorical markers are so compelling because they point to the transcendent, non-gendered reality of beauty. They help us escape our binaries. Some of the most beautiful people I've ever seen (here and in KS) have faces that could belong to either men or women.
Despite the sublime nature of androgyny, you, Ryan, with your delicate pixie features and sprightly shape, are obviously a girl. If he'd thought you were a boy, he wouldn't have asked. More likely that question translated to "Why do you have such short hair if you're a girl?"
--Beth
Awww, this happened to me back when my mom gave me and my 2 brothers the EXACT same haircut (I was in the bathroom, and a girl started freaking out b/c she thought I was a boy in the girls bathroom). I think Sweden's "gender neutral parenting" move is the future, but they are ahead of the USA . . http://www.parenting.com/blogs/show-and-tell/emmalie-parenting/sweden-announces-new-gender-neutral-pronoun
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