Whelp, there's nobody here but us mice (ten points if you know where that's from). That is, Chris is headed out of town and I'm all by me onesie. See this post for my I'm-all-by-myself behavior.
Chris gave me a call from the road, and he excitedly told me that all the cows were out. Now, you're probably wondering why he (or me) would care about the cows being out. Well, if you're wondering that, then you haven't played The Cow Game. The Cow Game is my new favorite car game. My good friend and bandmate taught us ("us" being the band) how to play, so now I'm going to teach you.
Every time you pass a herd of cows, the first person to say "my cows!" is awarded 1 (one) herd. When you pass a church, the first person to say "marry my cows!" doubles their herds. When you pass a cemetery, the first person to say "kill your cows!" manages to halve everyone else's herds. Obviously, the object of the game is to get the most cows. The game starts when you get in the car, and ends each time you stop the car and get out (including pee breaks). Also, a rule we made up is that, when you pass a steakhouse, you say "eat your cow!" and you can choose one (1) person's cow to eat. Yummy. If you have one herd and someone kills your cows, you can't go back to zero (you keep your one). The only way to get someone's cows down to zero is to eat their cow.
My bandmates and I played this game all the way to Florida when we drove down for a couple gigs early in the summer. That's 14 hours of cow searching. FOURTEEN. And, once you get a little farther south, there are more churches than you can shake a stick at, so, as we got farther into Dixie, the cow herds started to grow exponentially. And, it got so heated that we were yelling: "MY COWS!" "MARRY MY COWS!" "KILL YOUR MOTHER F-&*^%-IN COWS!" I did not sleep for one minute of the ride down. I was way too busy looking for cows, churches, and cemeteries. In fact, I'm now so programmed to scan the countryside for bovine life that I find myself thinking "my cows" even when I'm alone in the car. Yup. That's right. Playing the cow game by myself (I always win). Go me.
So, I'm sure Chris was doing the same thing when he called me to let me know the cows were out.
If you start playing this game, I guarantee you will become addicted and crazed competitors.
Anyways, so right now I'm changing my guitar strings while watching a documentary about Joni Mitchell and drinking Pinot Noir. Not too bad.
My cows!
Can you imagine driving through a state with the most cows. Here are the Top 5 according to www.cattlenetwork.com. Texas would be fun!!
ReplyDeleteTotal U.S. Cow Inventory 96,668,600 (2008)
State Head Percent Of U.S.
Texas 13,800,000 14.28%
Kansas 6,700,000 6.93%
Nebraska 6,550,000 6.78%
California 5,450,000 5.64%
Oklahoma 5,400,000 5.59%
Did you take tasting notes for the Pinot Noir?
Oh my gosh, this game sounds like SO MUCH FUN. I'll have to play it on my next road trip. Another fun one my family and I play is the "UPS Game." Everytime you see a UPS truck you get 1 point (even the big tractor trailer trucks), if you get a UPS guy to wave at you, that's worth like 10 points, if you falsely call out "UPS TRUCK!" and it's not one, you're minus 5 points. And if you just so happen to be at the airport and you see a UPS plane...well, you basically won the game cuz those suckers are worth 100 points! :) My fam and I are nuts...
ReplyDeleteOh my...I will never teach my kids this game. The "slug bug, no slug back" game is irritating enough. Hahaha!! I swear, kids invent these games to annoy parents.
ReplyDeleteOh man, Anon, we'll have to plan a band tour in the midwest! Although, I may not sleep for a week if we do!
ReplyDeleteCaitlin, I am hereby adopting the UPS game. Maybe there's a way to combine it with the cow game: "Mail My Cows!"
Canis, that's probably a good idea. I can only imagine how irritating we all are when we play!
I believe I had the record of 1500 some-odd cows.
ReplyDeleteHaha, but I won the first round!
ReplyDelete