Ryan-the-Girl Moments

If you look up the name "Ryan" for a female on Urban Dictionary, here is what the entry says:
"A girl that has been through hell with that name. She is probaly a super catch, she has a great sence of humor and wants nothing more then to make everyone happy. If you know a female Ryan, you are lucky, they are rare. Don't judge her by her looks she is by far a better person then you can see from the outside." (Ha, I swear I didn't write that!) Go to http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Ryan%20(girl) if you want to check it out for yourself! Yeah, that made me grin.

Some random lady posted this on Yahoo! Answers: "Okay, to everyone who thinks I'm ever going to name a baby girl Ryan: 1) I'm not pregnant, I was just stating I knew a girl named Ryan, and looking for your opinions. 2) I think it's horrible for a girl." Um, yeah. Opposite of grinning happening here. Hating you, hating your comma splice.

Anyways, so it's safe to say that people have very different opinions regarding "appropriateness" of certain names for certain people.

My name has certainly caused some interesting exchanges in my life. I'm going to call these "Ryan-the-Girl Moments," but I'm sure other females with traditionally male names have dealt with the same sorts of issues (as have, I'm sure, males with traditionally female names). You'd think that, by now (two thousand-freakin'-TEN), people would be catching on to that whole don't-assume-anything thing, but apparently this is not the case. It's a form of stereotyping! Here are but a few of the more memorable Ryan-the-Girl Moments I've experienced:

- I think the first time I was ever really embarrased of my name was in 5th or 6th grade when some jackass at the local skating rink (anyone?) laughed at my name and then asked if my parents "wanted me to be a boy." I believe I just blushed sixteen shades of red and then cried. Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeat comeback 12-year-old me. Anyways, Effff you Mean-Skating-Rink-Bully!

-Also in middle school, I tried to check out a book at the library in school and they thought I was lying about my name. When I gave them my last name, they kept trying to tell me I was the Kathleen in their system. I politely informed them that no, Kathleen is my sister. I am Ryan (Yes I am. I promise I am. ID? I'm 13, I don't have ID yet!). When someone is trying to tell you that you don't know your own name, it's pretty hard to keep your cool or take them even remotely seriously. So, Effff you Narrow-Minded-Librarian-Lady!

-Let's see, one of my favorite, most memorable Ryan-the-Girl Moments was when I turned 18 and applied for my very first voter registration card. I happily filled out all my forms and mailed them in. At last! The Vote! Well, a few days later we got a voicemail on the house phone from a woman who worked in the voter registration office. She was so very helpful. She calmly explained how the Babarsky family's son Ryan had accidentlally checked the "female" box, and could he please call in to give them verification that he was, indeed, a male? They would just go ahead and fix it, but it's policy to have to get at least vocal verification to make any changes (!!!!!!!!). WTF? Maybe she thought this 18-year-old boy was playing a joke? Anyways, Efff you Know-It-All-Voter-Lady!

-Very recently (perhaps a month or two ago), I went to my local pet shop to get some bunny supplies. I am a "preferred pet" customer, so I get a small discount when I check out. This guy I had never seen was working there and I asked him to put my phone number into the system (which pulls up my name and then applies the discount). Well, I give this new guy my phone number and he sees my name pop up and gives me a really funny look. Well, apparently he thought I was lying about who I was, because when I gave him my credit card to pay (which has my picture on it), he was like "oh, so you ARE Ryan." And I was like, "um, you thought I was lying?" And then he said "What, did your parents want you to be a boy?" And, all of a sudden I had a horrible flashback to 5th or 6th grade at the skating rink, and my face turned red and all I could muster was a "no" and a Die-bitch-die kind of look. And, of course, as I'm walking out of the store, seething with anger, I come up with a comeback: "What, did you parents want you to be a stupid, hateful, dumbass?" Why can't my brain work a little faster? Effff you Stupid-Hateful-Dumbass-Petstore-Guy! Of course, a little while after that, at the same pet store, a new girl was working and couldn't stop complimenting me on my name! People are so very different!

There are all sorts of situations in general that are a pain too because of my name:
-Going to the bank: I have to give like 8 forms of ID, my mother's maiden name, and promise them my firstborn if I want to cash a stupid check.
-Getting mail: If I had a nickel for every piece of mail I got addressed to Mr. Ryan Babarsky, I'd be living in a mansion, married to a beach bum, and drinking all the coffee I want by now.
-Going on interviews: Every time I've ever interviewed for a job, I've had the interviewer's shock at having a female walk in to deal with.

Then there are the fun things:
-People usually remember my name because it is different.
-My boyfriend Chris has figured out a fun game: Introduce us as Chris and Ryan but switch our names around to totally confuse the person.
-It's so much fun finding other girls with masculine names! It's like an instant friend! I almost interrupted some 13-year-old girls' putt-putt game the other week because I overheard that one of them was named Ryan! Then I decided that I would probably just freak them out.

I would like to keep coming back to this whole gender/name thing on occasion because it's interesting to me and because it is a huge part of my life. Has anyone else experienced this kind of Ryan-the-Girl Moment? Next post coming soon about my move-out experience yesterday. T'was interesting, for sure.

RYAN'S RECOMMENDATIONS:

Listening: Back to the River by Susan Tedeschi. I got this CD for Christmas and love it. Lately I've been particularly obsessed with the track called "700 Houses." It's about Hurricane Katrina and Louisiana and is an amazing song. Also, Derek Trucks plays this freakin' awesome guitar solo on the track. It literally brings me to tears almost every time I hear it. There's something about it that pierces into my body and gives me shivers. I highly recommend the album.

Reading: Still reading Watership Down because I don't have nearly as much time to read as I would like. But seriously, what could be better? It's BUNNIES, people!

Working Out: One of the things I recently added to my workout collection was a medicine ball. It's really small, full of sand, and 6 lbs. It's great for some ab workout stuff, and easily portable. Y'all should get your selves one if that sounds good to you!