Snoredom

I realize that it's been awhile, and that I owe you all a post on the holidays and the things I'm hoping for in the new year, and blah blah blah.

HOWEVER, there is another more pressing matter I need to attend to first.

I can't sleep. No, I'm not tossing and turning because of the whirling and swirling thoughts in my head. No, I'm not drinking caffeine too late in the day. No, I'm not suffering from some sort of melatonin imbalance. And no, I don't suffer from insomnia.

The problem is Chris. And his (insert string of expletives here) snoring.

Now, I will admit that I'm akin to the Princess and the Pea in that I have a hard time sleeping when conditions are not ideal. I've never been one of those people who can sleep anywhere or under any circumstances. I need it to be quiet and dark, and I need to be warm enough (but not too warm!). I'm also often a light sleeper. I wake up pretty easily.

So, needless to say, snoring is a problem for me. Not only does it wake me up, it keeps me from being able to fall back asleep. And I dunno, it just REALLY grates on my nerves... I sort of have this physical reaction to the sound that may be similar to the one many people have when nails are scraped across a chalkboard. It's an involuntary cringe.

Chris has snored off and on over the years, but I've always just been able to ask him to roll over on his side to make it go away. Easy-peasy-lemon-squeasy, right? Well, it was. But now, for some reason, it isn't.

I don't know what changed exactly, but now he's snoring no matter what. All the time, every night, on his side, on his back, on his stomach, always. I tried having him wear one of those little breathing strips on his nose, but it didn't work at all. I even bought ear plugs for myself, and I can still hear him snoring THROUGH THE STUPID EAR PLUGS! ARGH!

So, dear readers, I beg of you: Help me. What do I do????