I Can Do Anything You Can Do Better...

This is sort of a Part Deux to my first blog post (see "Uterus!").

Part of being a "tomboy" for me was never accepting defeat when matched up against a male. One of the things I always had an issue with was the idea that a man might think I was weaker/lesser/dumber, etc. So, I overcompensated for my femininity (which I was afraid males would consider a weakness) constantly. I used to kick boys' asses at sports in gym class by playing uneccesarily roughly (and by that I mean elbowing them in the face, slamming into them, and then laughing at them when they called "foul!"). It was my mission to make it so all the men I encountered knew I could hang with them in anything and everything.

In high school, many of my male friends figured out that the best way to "push my buttons" was to say something derogatory about women's sports (or The Beatles, but that's another issue!). They used to say things like "women's soccer is boring" just because they knew I'd flip out and punch them. I was the girl who punched guys in the stomach and then showed off my own sweet abdominal muscles.

I've gotten over a big part of my near-crazy boy-beating fear of weakness. But, there still is a bit of that leftover. I will always believe that a woman can do anything a man can do (Think the Mia Hamm/Michael Jordan commercial), within reason. I will still do my best to never lose to a man (or anyone really). But, I won't feel inadequate if my best efforts don't always result in a win.

Sometimes I think about how great it is to be a woman. A woman can wear feminine or masculine clothes without anyone even blinking. A woman can be an athlete and a "girly" girl. A woman can be sexy, a woman can be smart, a woman can be a nurturer, a woman can be a hard-ass. A woman can have a little bit of everything she wants. I think men have a more narrow realm of "acceptable" than women do right now, though hopefully that will change.

So, as the 6th-grade me would have said, "Girl Power!"

RYAN'S RECOMMENDATIONS:

Ok, this time I need your recommendations! I'm doing some research on some nicer cameras. I'd like to start adding pictures to my articles and blog that actually look good. The pictures my current cheap camera takes totally suck! Here are some of the ones I've been looking at lately. Let me know what you all think!

Uterus!

Hello you lovely, gender-obsessed people! I'm Ryan. And I have a uterus (at least, my gyno tells me I do. I'm not flexible enough to verify that by myself). Cuz I'm a girl. Or woman, or whatever. When a female technically become a "woman" is beyond me. I guess being in your early twenties means being in-between a lot of labels. Anyways, so yes, I am a female with a traditionally male name. And boy (girl!), has it shaped who I am. I've often wondered if I would be a totally different person if my parents had named me "Ashley" or "Britney" or something.

I was that tomboy girl. I wanted legos and tonka trucks and I wanted to play sports. Barbies and pink shit were not ok with me. Ever. My grandmother would still try to give me that stuff for Christmas, because that's what little girls are supposed to get for Christmas. I remember ripping my Barbie's head off once. Bitch deserved it, always grinning smugly at me like she knew that her hypotheical 18-inch waist was going to be forever unattainable to women everywhere. Then, it occured to me that I could get in trouble for breaking a toy someone had so generously given me, so I hid that blonde, nipple-less doll under the couch cushions in our basement.

I may have even ended up having an unhealthy aversion to all things feminine. It wasn't until college that I started getting in touch with that "girly" side of myself (What, Ryan's wearing... a dress???? Since when does she do that?). It took me a long while to see "feminine" as anything other than weak. After some struggling, I've learned that I can be feminine and strong at the same time. In fact, my mother, who is one of my heroes, is the epitome of the strong, feminine woman. So, now if a guy calls me "pretty," I don't have an uncontrollable urge to punch him in the face. And I lift weights and then go drink the pinkest martini drink you've ever seen.

I can't help but wonder what alternate universe girly-named-me would have turned out like (Let's call her "Rhonda."): Would Rhonda have been a pink-wearing, purse-toting, high heel-loving fake blonde? Would Rhonda have worshipped Michelle Pfeiffer instead of Michelle Akers? Would people have treated Rhonda differently than they treated me? Would Rhonda's life be totally different than mine? I certainly hope not. I'd like to think that "I yam who I yam." But, the cynical side of me is saying that it so does matter.

One thing I'd like to say is that I'm so thankful that my parents never tried to push "feminine" toys, clothes, or stereotypes on me. When I expressed a liking for something, they encouraged it, regardless of what "gender" was supposed to like it. My sister and I both learned to be strong, and both grew up believing we could be anything we wanted.

I want to be a writer and I want to love deeply.


(But I still refuse to wear pink.)