SAD

Recently, Her Royal Dooceness posted about how hard season changes are for people who are or have been clinically depressed (pretty much no matter how "mild" the case was). The post is here if you'd like to read it. She said her therapist told her that more suicides happen in September and May than any other months. I don't find this to be surprising at all, as I always feel really down when my favorite summer weather starts to retreat and when those short, chilly, grey, rainy, days replace those scrumptiously-wonderful, long, hot, bright days.

Every single seasonal change causes me to look inward (Though, the change from summer to fall is always the hardest one for me). It's like all the change that is swirling around me and is beyond my control reminds me of my own mortality, and my own true lack of control (and control freaks like me have problems dealing with the idea of not having a hold on something). I don't know if this has anything to do with ever having been depressed, but, you'd think I'd get used to the seasons changing every year (you know, because it happens 4 times every damn year!)... and I just can't seem to. I was strolling down the pedestrian mall in town when I took a short break from work (well, when I say I strolled, I really mean I bee-lined for the coffee shop), and I just got this overwhelming sense of sadness- this sense that everything I hold dear will, in varying amounts of time, be taken from me or me from it.

The change in seasons always always always compels me to make some changes in my life- sometimes big, meaningful changes, sometimes small, superficial ones. I almost always want to get my hair cut, buy new clothes, start a new hobby, and recommit myself to health and exercise. Hell, last fall was perhaps the craziest I went after the days starting getting shorter: I quit my job without the prospect of another one, and in the current market (I'm getting so sick of this "current market" shit... but hey, I ended up in a much better place because of that seemingly rash, crazy, season change-fueled decision). I also decided to try to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), and, while serving out my two weeks' notice and then some, I wrote half a damn (awful) book.

I'm also always SO ready to move somewhere new (whether that means a new house or a new town, I'm not exactly sure) in the fall. Perhaps that drive comes from going off to school in the fall and moving into a new dorm, though I'm not really sure. Perhaps I'm like a goose- I want to move south for the winter (flying would be ok with me), as I certainly have no compulsion to move north... I'd probably never survive in Alaska or one of the Nordic countries (not just because of the cold, also because of the lack of light!), where the sun literally goes away for months at a time.

And maybe all of this is just brought on by the dreaded Quarter-Life Crisis (although, do crises last more than a year?) or something. And can I just say that the Quarter-Life Crisis sucks? We Quarter-Lifers have no money with which to buy sports cars or mansions or breast implants or whatever those Mid-Lifers are buying these days (I mean, really they should be frantically saving for retirement, am I right?) However, I have a feeling that it is more than likely something at least related to Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Seasonal Affective Disorder is, appropriately, known as SAD. Wikipedia says that "Symptoms of SAD may consist of difficulty waking up in the morning, morning sickness, tendency to oversleep and over eat, especially a craving for carbohydrates, which leads to weight gain. Other symptoms include a lack of energy, difficulty concentrating on completing tasks, and withdrawal from friends, family, and social activities. All of this leads to the depression, pessimistic feelings of hopelessness, and lack of pleasure which characterize a person suffering from this disorder." They forgot to include compulsion to cut one's hair, change one's wardrobe, and dive right in to writing the next Great American Novel.

Anyways, if you're currently suffering from this autumnal, ass-kicking SADness, I'm right there with you. Let's get through this together: By drinking coffee, ranting regularly, eating carbs, sleeping in, and writing a book. Ok, fine, jeez, we'll make this the Sesame Street version: By exercising, eating healthy foods, discussing our feelings in a calm, collected way, and by researching and outlining for our book before we start writing (that's the ticket!).

Here's to warm, sunny, summer days filled with FUN instead of SAD!

White Trash Anniversary

Chris and I have been together for 5 years today. Our day can only be described as a "white trash" anniversary celebration (I do have West BY GOD! Virginia blood in me). It started with us getting up at the last possible second before having to leave the house. We both pulled on shorts and t-shirts without having showered and got in the car.

Our new place came with washer/dryer hookups sans washer/dryer (We were secretly hoping the previous tenants would leave theirs, but, alas, no such luck). So, after scouring craigslist, we found an ad for a washer/dyer set for FIFTY DOLLARS. That's Five-Oh dollars for both a washer and a dryer. Pretty hard to pass up, eh? We set out for Waynesboro (about a 40-minute drive) this morning. This lady lives out in the booooo-hooooo-nies. We got lost on the way there. But, eventually, we pulled into a gas station to ask for directions. One of those really nice country folk was working the cash register and he gave us great directions to get where we needed to go. You know the type: Flannel-wearing, extremely kind and polite, counts your change back to you when you buy something ("that's five, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, and sixty-five cents makes fifteen"), thanks you profusely and wishes you well.

Anyways, we got to the house. Now, for fifty dollars we both expected these appliances to be total pieces of shit.  Much to our surprise, they seemed to be in extremely good condition. Like, much nicer than many of the washer/dryers we saw for hundreds of dollars. Woo! We had a bit of a time getting the washer and dryer into the car, but did (call me Superwoman, please).

Now comes the really redneck part of our anniversary day. We headed to the Shoneys for lunch. For breakfast for lunch. Ha, don't you love how, when you get out into the country, everything has a "the" in front of it? "I'm going to THE Shoneys." "I'm going to THE Walmart." As if there are no other Shoneys or Walmarts anywhere, ever. So Chris ate his chicken-fried steak (EW) and I ate my eggs, grits, and bacon. Classy couple, we are. And Shoneys is as white-trash as you get! Chris pointed out that I was the skinniest person in the restaurant. We ate, I drank the bad coffee, and we headed out (Happy annie-versary babey!).

And then the day got even more white-trashy; cuz we stopped by THE Walmart. We got a bookshelf and a few other odds and ends.

We got home with our new loot, and Chris started trying to hook up our new (old!) washer/dryer set. The hoses kept leaking, so we went to Lowes to get new ones. THEN, the hot water hose kept leaking. Um, sucky. We decided to just keep the cold water hooked up, and then, we went to plug in the dryer. ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND more shit: Our dryer is newer than our house, and, apparently, they (I have no clue who "they" are) changed dryer cords in 1996 (I was nine). So, the shit didn't fit. The male parts didn't go into the female parts (bow, chicka bow wow, oh.). SO, we had to go back. to. Lowes. Chris (call him Superman) rewired our dryer and got it working. Hallelujah!!!!!!!!! Two loads of laundry done bitches! Sorry, you're not bitches. Just got excited.

After the debacle, we went to the grocery store and then the liquor store. We spent over $75 to start our "liquor collection (yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww!)"

Now, that's a white trash anniverary (love you babey).

RYAN'S RECOMMENDATIONS:

Listening: "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magentic Zeros. A Charlottesville radio station called WNRN plays this song all the time. It's awesome. And crazy weird. Oh yeah, and awesome.

Reading: Chesapeake. Really like this book, ya'll.

Watching: Sex and the City, Season 4. I am drinking a homemade Cosmopolitan (yeah, liquor cabinet) while watching Sex and the City. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yes.

Working Out: I had a doctor's appointment last week. It's official: I've lost 30-lbs in about 9 months. In fact, I've sort of accidentally done down a size past where I meant to. So, it's eating yummy stuff and working out. Great combo really. Doing 30-Day Shred a few times a week.

The Palace Part Deux

Whew. Man, we've been working hard on this house and it still isn't all put together yet! It's unbelievalbe to me that I own so. much. stuff. Actually, it's not that unbelievable. I'm a bit of a pack rat. I hate throwing things away. I think I had every birthday card I ever received until I went off to college. I went through my desk to throw things away (something I do every 20 years or so) and found all these cards from like my 8th birthday and stuff. I even found a $20 bill in one! Happy happy happy belated birthday to me! I also love to collect things like books, cds, records, etc. You know, heavy things. Things that make moving totally suck.

Examples of my Pack-rat-itude

Anyways, the house is going to look great once we have everything set up and unpacked. Except for the linoleum. I think I may have mentioned the linoleum. Here are a few promised pictures:

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww!

Mmmmmk, now that that is out of the way, let me give some props to my boyfriend Chris. In one day, he was here to meet the cable/internet guy, the electrician, the other maintenance man, and the guys who came to replace the screens (who thought residents weren't in the place yet. When Chris answered the door, the guy apparently nearly wet himself). Anyways, that's a lot of stuff (thanks babe!). He also got a lot of our stuff set up, including what will be our music room. How sweet to have the space to even think about being able to have a whole room dedicated to music. Woo!

The ground floor is a lot more put together than the upstairs, so I've added some pics for your viewing pleasure. Welcome to The Palace (inside joke between Chris and I. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it):

Above is part of our living room space. We have our TV all set up (Chris and I have purchased two major things together: a canoe and this TV). Notice Chris's new Xbox 360, aka, his new girlfriend. I know it looks messy, but that's just because it is. My goal is to have things looking presentable by Saturday, when my mom is coming to visit. I doubt I'll have everything on the walls, but, I'm hoping to have the boxes unpacked and things put away. 

Here is another view so you can see the fireplace (fire!) and the sliding glass door. I bought the curtains (or so I thought) at Kmart for what I thought was a great deal. Turns out, it was only ONE panel of the two panel set. Chris had to go get ANOTHER one. Um, screw you Kmart. The picture showed two. Pictures should not lie. I'm too busy to read the packaging!

Here is the bunny's part of the living room. Yes, I realize he has a lot of space. Despite what many people think, rabbits actually do not do well cooped up all the time. You wouldn't either! Don't make me test you.

The kitchen. Looks pretty good... except for that floor! Notice the daisies Chris got me yesterday because I had a shitty/stressful day. I'm pretty lucky.

Well, that's a lot of pictures, but I'll have more when things start getting put together. We have some things to figure out still, mainly that Chris is coughing and sneezing a lot, even after we changed the air filters. Suggestions welcome!

Oh, and PS, I had another Ryan the Girl moment today on the phone at work. Someone kept saying they were looking for Ryan, and didn't get that that was ME. Took awhile to get him to comprehend that "this is she" means "THIS.IS.SHE."

RYAN'S RECOMMENDATIONS:

Listening: Miles Davis. Actually, I'm getting ready to listen to Miles Davis here soon. Kind of Blue is still my favorite (and yes, I realize how cliche it is to like this particular album best but I do not care).

Reading: Chesapeake. Some crazay shit goin' down on the colonial eastern shore. Fo shizzle.

Working Out: Back to doing 30 Day Shred! Yay!

Watching: SNL Commericals on Netflix Instant on the Xbox! Technology is cool. Sometimes.

Our Palace

It's official. Chris and I are in our new (rented) house. We're sort-of camping right now, as most of the furniture is in storage until tomorrow (when we shall pick it up in a moving truck). We've blown up the blow-up mattress and pushed it next to Chris's single bed mattress on the floor of the master bedroom. It kind of feels like being at a sleep over or something.

The house is a two-floor, three-bedroom, 1&1/2-bath duplex (side-by-side style. I've never understood why people just don't call them townhouses). We plan on having a music room/office and a workshop in the two extra rooms. The house has lots of space, and we're really excited.

It is not, however, "perfect." The ugliest linoleum ever manufactured lives in the foyer and kitchen. Not only is it completely hideous, but it's scratched up and old. It seriously looks like someone went to a flooring store and said "I would like such-and-such square feet of your butt-ugliest flooring, please" and then took it home and punished it for being so frickin' disgusting-looking. Anyways, I'm sure it is there because it was dirt cheap to put in. Pictures will follow, don't worry. I haven't taken the time to dig my camera up out of the piles of stuff currently strewn about the place. One other thing is that the house is a weird orange color. Yeah, kinda gross, but it's not like we're living in the yard and always looking at it.

After we get settled in and put the furniture where we want it, I will go around the house to take some pics (in case you want to see it). We have a fireplace (! Fire is fun!), a small yard, and a few other cool things.

Yay for us!

RYAN'S RECOMMENDATIONS:

Listening: "At Last" by Etta James. So good.
Reading: Chesapeake by James Michener, http://www.dooce.com/ by Heather Armstrong.
Watching: NOTHING, because the TV is not set up yet!
Working Out: Monday is the day I will finally be able to get back into my lovely routine. Can't wait.

Grandma's House World

I’m finally out of my apartment! Many thanks to my dad, stepmom, and boyfriend for all their help. Things did not, as usual, go perfectly smoothly (I’m beginning to believe that nothing ever goes perfectly smoothly, and that this is a concept someone made up to tease people). The worst thing that happened is that my pet rabbit, Coltrane, decided he would chew up my carpet ON MY FRICKIN’ LAST DAY THERE. As I started to hyperventilate, cry, and kiss my security deposit goodbye, my father swooped in to the rescue! He cut the patch of carpet Coltrane chewed into a square and measured it. He then proceeded to go into the closet where the water heater lives and cut a square of carpet in the desired size from there. He placed it on the spot, and you seriously can’t even tell something happened (Uheights Apartments, if you're reading this, I'm only kidding!). This kind of thing would never have occurred to me. Thank goodness for brave, carpet-cutting types. I’m more of a crap-oh-shit-oh-shit-why-me-why-me-what-do-I-do type when it comes to these things.

Oh, and Coltrane is going to get his balls chopped off soon. No, not as punishment for the carpet (at least not only because of the carpet…). I also told Chris he better not think about eating my carpet.


Anyways, it’s going to be an interesting few days, as I’m staying with my grandmother until the 11th when Chris and I move into our new place. My grandma just had surgery on her foot, so it’s actually good that I’m going to be here to help out. It’s just that, sometimes, this house seems like an alien planet. I seriously feel like Spaceman Spiff (anyone?) exploring a whole other world right now. Here, in Grandma’s House World, things must be clean. Ok, by clean I mean immaculately perfect. If you use a towel once, you are supposed to wash it afterwards. EVERY TIME! I think I maybe wash my towels like once every couple months. Maybe. Ok fine, I’m gross, whatever. But, I’m wondering how these Grandma’s House World towels last for more than a year or so; they get the shit beat out of them in the washer and dryer 47 times as often as my towels do. I’m surprised most of the linen closet isn’t just shreds of used-to-be-towels-and-washcloths. Sheets are washed almost as often here. I think the washer and dryer may be run 6 times a day. Any clothes are also washed as soon as they are taken off of a human and are deemed “dirty.” This means the washer has, max, five things in it (!!!!!!!!) at a time. Again, very foreign to me. I’m the girl who stuffs the washer as full as it will go after going two weeks without doing laundry. And I wonder what my grandma would say if I told her I wear jeans and bras 8-10 times before I wash them (mmmk, stop judging please)? Also, the day starts much earlier in Grandma’s House World than in Ryan’s Mid-Twenties World. Ew.

The other interesting part is that Coltrane is here in the house with me, and my grandmother has never ever had a “pet.” In fact, I think she’s pretending he’s not here so she doesn’t have to worry about it. He has to stay in his smaller cage (poor bun), but he’s adjusting just fine. Sharing a room with the bunny is not ideal, but I’m trying not to take over my grandmother’s whole house. Coltrane makes all sorts of weird noises when I’m trying to sleep, and his hay makes me sneeze a little bit.

As Grandma’s House World adventures unfold, I will be sure to share them. For now, Chris is bringing pizza over, and I refuse to share that.

Bun Behind Bars

RYAN'S RECOMMENDATIONS:

Listening: My grandma was listening to a CD featuring hit songs from 1952 today. It was actually quite entertaining!

Reading: I finished Watership Down last night. Definitely now one of my favorite novels. It's one of those books that you can't stop thinking about, even after you're finished. Now, I'm about to start Chesapeake by James Michener.

Working Out: I went for a good, old fashioned run today. I'm having a hard time getting back into a routine since I'm staying with my grandmother, but it felt good to get a jog in. If it's not too hot where you are, get your booty moving!