Time to Break Out the Handwarmers...

The weekend before this last one, Chris and I went sailing. Yes, we went sailing on a 53-degree drizzly day. Guess whose idea that was? I'll give you a hint: It wasn't mine. But we had to go, because the season is quickly drawing to a close and because the wind was perfect.

Here's a list of the layers I wore:
Sports bra
Thermal shirt
T-shirt
Sweatshirt
Winter coat
Running tights
Windbreaking pants
Wool socks
Hiking boots
Ski gloves
Beanie

And, even wearing all that, I was chilly. I have this thing called Reynaud's Disease... essentially, I have horrible circulation, which is really bad in my extremities (fingers, toes). If you click on the above link and look the scary-looking pictures of fingers, that's what happens to me.  And I'm just cold-intolerant in general. Winter is like a living hell to me. That's one of the reasons why I bought my new boots... gotta keep them toes warm!

Thank goodness I thought to bring a pack of handwarmers with me when we went sailing. Have you all seen these things? You open up a packet, shake the little pouch so that the various ingrediants mix together, which causes a chemical reaction that produces heat. Beautiful, wonderful heat. Over the years, many of the people I know have given me handwarmers as gifts, so I have this huge stockpile of them, which I'm planning on using all winter long.

Anyways, so I stuck the handwarmers in my gloves, which, I'm sure, was the only reason I could actually make myself useful and pull on ropes and stuff (things like gripping the steering wheel of my car or carrying a bag that is even slightly heavy greatly aggravate this condition in my hands).

It was another very windy day, so we reefed the main sail (which basically means that we made the surface area of the sail smaller) and we managed to explore part of the lake that we had never seen before because we were FLYING. It seriously felt like we were going 60 miles per hour for a minute there (Chris said it was probably more like 10, hahaha). To me, the craziest part was when we were going directly with the wind... it feels like you're barely moving (because you're going with the wind, there's not really any wind blowing against your face or anything)... until you look at the scenery flying by you. Amazing, really.

Oh yeah, did I mention we were the only CRAZIES on the entire lake? No? Hmmm, well, we were.

Then, I started to get pretty chilly and made Chris take us back to the marina (much to his dismay). I'm thinking I'm much more of a Tropical-Sailer-Type... Chris, though, comes from hearty Irish stock, and prefers to freeze his ass off.

Oy. Winter is coming....



I.HATE.COLD.



SAD

Recently, Her Royal Dooceness posted about how hard season changes are for people who are or have been clinically depressed (pretty much no matter how "mild" the case was). The post is here if you'd like to read it. She said her therapist told her that more suicides happen in September and May than any other months. I don't find this to be surprising at all, as I always feel really down when my favorite summer weather starts to retreat and when those short, chilly, grey, rainy, days replace those scrumptiously-wonderful, long, hot, bright days.

Every single seasonal change causes me to look inward (Though, the change from summer to fall is always the hardest one for me). It's like all the change that is swirling around me and is beyond my control reminds me of my own mortality, and my own true lack of control (and control freaks like me have problems dealing with the idea of not having a hold on something). I don't know if this has anything to do with ever having been depressed, but, you'd think I'd get used to the seasons changing every year (you know, because it happens 4 times every damn year!)... and I just can't seem to. I was strolling down the pedestrian mall in town when I took a short break from work (well, when I say I strolled, I really mean I bee-lined for the coffee shop), and I just got this overwhelming sense of sadness- this sense that everything I hold dear will, in varying amounts of time, be taken from me or me from it.

The change in seasons always always always compels me to make some changes in my life- sometimes big, meaningful changes, sometimes small, superficial ones. I almost always want to get my hair cut, buy new clothes, start a new hobby, and recommit myself to health and exercise. Hell, last fall was perhaps the craziest I went after the days starting getting shorter: I quit my job without the prospect of another one, and in the current market (I'm getting so sick of this "current market" shit... but hey, I ended up in a much better place because of that seemingly rash, crazy, season change-fueled decision). I also decided to try to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), and, while serving out my two weeks' notice and then some, I wrote half a damn (awful) book.

I'm also always SO ready to move somewhere new (whether that means a new house or a new town, I'm not exactly sure) in the fall. Perhaps that drive comes from going off to school in the fall and moving into a new dorm, though I'm not really sure. Perhaps I'm like a goose- I want to move south for the winter (flying would be ok with me), as I certainly have no compulsion to move north... I'd probably never survive in Alaska or one of the Nordic countries (not just because of the cold, also because of the lack of light!), where the sun literally goes away for months at a time.

And maybe all of this is just brought on by the dreaded Quarter-Life Crisis (although, do crises last more than a year?) or something. And can I just say that the Quarter-Life Crisis sucks? We Quarter-Lifers have no money with which to buy sports cars or mansions or breast implants or whatever those Mid-Lifers are buying these days (I mean, really they should be frantically saving for retirement, am I right?) However, I have a feeling that it is more than likely something at least related to Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Seasonal Affective Disorder is, appropriately, known as SAD. Wikipedia says that "Symptoms of SAD may consist of difficulty waking up in the morning, morning sickness, tendency to oversleep and over eat, especially a craving for carbohydrates, which leads to weight gain. Other symptoms include a lack of energy, difficulty concentrating on completing tasks, and withdrawal from friends, family, and social activities. All of this leads to the depression, pessimistic feelings of hopelessness, and lack of pleasure which characterize a person suffering from this disorder." They forgot to include compulsion to cut one's hair, change one's wardrobe, and dive right in to writing the next Great American Novel.

Anyways, if you're currently suffering from this autumnal, ass-kicking SADness, I'm right there with you. Let's get through this together: By drinking coffee, ranting regularly, eating carbs, sleeping in, and writing a book. Ok, fine, jeez, we'll make this the Sesame Street version: By exercising, eating healthy foods, discussing our feelings in a calm, collected way, and by researching and outlining for our book before we start writing (that's the ticket!).

Here's to warm, sunny, summer days filled with FUN instead of SAD!

Winter is Coming

My brilliant, amazing, fun, and eccentric AP US History teacher (probably my favorite teacher of all-time) from junior year in high school had this clock on the wall of his classroom that made loon sounds every hour (no, not the crazy-people kind, the bird kind), and each time it went off, he would stop whatever he was doing and say "winter is coming," and then resume class like nothing happened. I have no clue why this occurred or what it meant, but I laughed every time. Sometimes I think I may have been the only one laughing. That happens to me a lot. Um... yeah.


"Winter is coming..."

Anyways, I'm not laughing now, cuz it's freakin' COLD OUTSIDE. And you know what that means: Winter is indeed coming. I had an interview today (!) that was three blocks from my current office, so I walked, in heels and a skirt and stockings (ew). I have been dragging my heels (the other kind) on wearing my big winter coat this year, so today was another day that I brought my light, fall jacket (which looks so good on me that I never want to take it off). And, of course, I froze on the walk over to the interview. I get very grumpy when I'm cold. I also have poor circulation and lose feeling in my fingers and toes very easily. My fingers routinely turn white and then purple and then almost blackish if I don't get the blood moving again, so you'll often find me walking around shaking my hands as hard as I can, and I look like I'm being very un-PC about someone with a disability or something. I remember being in New York City on my 16th birthday waiting outside (where it was about 20 degrees) in line for Les Miserables desperately trying to shake the blood back into my hands and having all these very well-dressed, posh city-dwellers give each other looks like "what is WRONG with that girl?" And the point of all that is to say that I HATE WINTER AND COLD AND BADNESS. I can't even enjoy fall because I know it's just going to turn into winter.

I want flipflops! And tank tops! And shorts! And sun! And the beach! I want the days to be light until MIDNIGHT! I want the heat AND the humidity! I want to skip winter and have Christmas in July (I'm happy to decorate a palm tree, sing island-themed Christmas carols, and sip an iced eggnog...)! And why does my boss have the damn AC on in the office? I'm FREEZING here, people!

I'm not even 25 and I'm ready to retire to Florida...