Snoredom

I realize that it's been awhile, and that I owe you all a post on the holidays and the things I'm hoping for in the new year, and blah blah blah.

HOWEVER, there is another more pressing matter I need to attend to first.

I can't sleep. No, I'm not tossing and turning because of the whirling and swirling thoughts in my head. No, I'm not drinking caffeine too late in the day. No, I'm not suffering from some sort of melatonin imbalance. And no, I don't suffer from insomnia.

The problem is Chris. And his (insert string of expletives here) snoring.

Now, I will admit that I'm akin to the Princess and the Pea in that I have a hard time sleeping when conditions are not ideal. I've never been one of those people who can sleep anywhere or under any circumstances. I need it to be quiet and dark, and I need to be warm enough (but not too warm!). I'm also often a light sleeper. I wake up pretty easily.

So, needless to say, snoring is a problem for me. Not only does it wake me up, it keeps me from being able to fall back asleep. And I dunno, it just REALLY grates on my nerves... I sort of have this physical reaction to the sound that may be similar to the one many people have when nails are scraped across a chalkboard. It's an involuntary cringe.

Chris has snored off and on over the years, but I've always just been able to ask him to roll over on his side to make it go away. Easy-peasy-lemon-squeasy, right? Well, it was. But now, for some reason, it isn't.

I don't know what changed exactly, but now he's snoring no matter what. All the time, every night, on his side, on his back, on his stomach, always. I tried having him wear one of those little breathing strips on his nose, but it didn't work at all. I even bought ear plugs for myself, and I can still hear him snoring THROUGH THE STUPID EAR PLUGS! ARGH!

So, dear readers, I beg of you: Help me. What do I do????

If I Ruled the World

If I ruled the world, the work day wouldn't start until 11:00 AM. Seriously though? Whose dumbass idea was it to start the work day so freakin' early? And why does EVERYONE adhere to this social construct? For no good reason. Harumph!

I just got back from a gig, and all my bandmates and friends are at "the band house" hanging out and having a good time. I, however, am home in bed, writing a blog post (no shit Sherlock!) to help me wind down from the excitement so I can go to sleep. My bandmates and friends all managed to get jobs that don't start until much later in the day than mine. I have a "real" job with "regular" hours, and therefore have to be at the office by 8:30 AM. As in soon. As if that isn't hard enough to deal with (that is, the part where I am the only person I know who has to get up early), every time I have to say "goodnight" when everyone is hanging out I am dealt a guilt-trip from hell. People seem to think me not wanting to stay up all night means I don't like spending time with them or something. Sheesh. Really, I just don't want to be miserable the next day is all. And staying up all night completely wrecks me.

I think I spent all of my alotted staying up late and all night time my freshman year of college. I seriously adhered to the "Sleep is for the Dead" philosophy. I was so excited about the people I met and music I was playing and all that. My friend (and later roommate) and I would pull all-nighters for fun, not for school, and make playlists, play guitar, talk, etc. It was awesome. I so wish I still had that capacity. Well, also, college life is conducive to such behavior; like the first semester of my freshman year my first class of the day on Tuesday/Thursday was at 2:00 PM. So, I regularly stayed up all night, crashed in the morning, and the got out of bed at 1:30. In the PM!

 But alas, I up and spent all my extra waking hours in that one year! Now I'm an 8-hour-a-night-or-holy-crap-she's-grumpy type. And it also makes me grumpy to miss all the fun that I'm sure is going on RIGHT NOW across town without me. Sigh. I feel like the kid on the playground who can't join the game because my mom won't let me or something.

And so, on that note, I'm going to bid you all a goodnight (well, technically morning) so I can get some much-needed Zzzzzzs. Goodnight! And think about that workday starting at 11 thing. I'm going to write a letter to my congressman to let him know what I expect from Capitol Hill this year: Mandatory workday start time of 11 AM or else.